Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
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Top comments
plaidrabbit 0
Holy crap, you ranted for five blocks? About how he deserved to *die*?! Anger issues much?
ManiMartinixo 0
YDI for talking shit
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Comments (256)
Telcontar14 0
How one earth can even YOU not think you deserve this? I hate this, when people post FMLs and its so obviously F-the-other-person's-L. Take a little responsibility for your own actions every once in a while.
Rockyio 0
YDI!
ohhhhshizzz 0
First: Who the hell ******* does that. Yeah, they were stupid. But you obviously know ALOT about that, eh? Wishing someone to die for doing something stupid, ****** up. You ARE bitch, and if I were that "tourist" I'd kick your ass. You need anger managment honestly, 5 blocks. If I were your boyfriend, that 3rd block I'd hop a cab, and tell your ass it's over. Now STFU & deal with life.
peel_fml 0
You are a sad excuse for a human being if you believe, or even claim to believe, that tourists that almost get hit by cabs deserve to die, simply because of their carelessness. You deserve a lot more than a brief moment of fear.
meddude 0
since you're idiotic, by that logic, well...you figure it out. you don't even know for sure that it's a tourist by the way, and if you live in a major city with lots of cabs, you should know that most cabs don't know how to drive for shit. in conclusion, you're a ******* bitch.
thelonelylurker 0
You complained for 5 blocks of walking time? FHL (your boyfriend).
bsr414 0
Alllllllll tourists deserve to die. If you don't live in the city you are in, you should immediately be despised by the natives. Any Manhattan resident understands this.
thequeenofscots 0
LOL 73, exactly. XD. Though, sweetie, with the way those assholes drive, it's not only tourists that almost get hit.
illeyad 0
YDI for talking shit and not being able to account for it. How cowardly of you to hide behind someone else in public because someone called you out on your big mouth.
merri_fml 0
While I can't say I wouldn't have said the same thing, it would have been behind the door of my apartment, or in my car. You know, when it would have just been my boyfriend and I - nobody else.