Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
Tis the season…
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
Top comments
alex1432 9
What was that ****** doing out of his workshop?!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Did you take it?
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Comments (145)
ThatAkwardMoment 2
Maybe your on his naughty list
hobojo69 23
I guess your on the naughty list :-/
icic6772 0
Merry ******* Christmas.
LennyComa 39
The big jolly bastard
jewban 3
Santa isn't real do sho...
CoolRainbowdash 15
Bad Santa!!!!!!!!! Run away kids
babygrl339515 0
Ur on the naughty list clearly
edgez 0
Ozzy Osborn in a Santa suit maybe?
that1guy1234 2
YDI for being a naughty boy
MoNnEy_MiiTE 3
Last year you didn't leave the cookies out.