Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML
Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
starile 20
You're stupid
Zestus 19
Perfume oughta taste like it smells. but I suppose that'd taste terrible, too.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
illmatic2 16
But sour is good. Unless you have too much of it, then it makes you want to puke.
illmatic2 16
Well it's in the candy isle so I think it is. :P
Elision 0
lmaooo it must've smelled sweet for you to try it. :) i hope no one was watching
UpYoursInAdvance 0
Happy Birthday to me 09/01/1993 17 Today...
lauraxx_fml 0
happy birthday for yesterday haha.. #70
UpYoursInAdvance 0
Thx 72 Lol
illmatic2 16
Yes it should be, liquid candy is an amazing invention.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
How the **** do you get perfume mixed up with spray candy?!!! Check before you do if you don't know what it is!!!!
teamsleep22 0
49 u look like a backstreet boy. Put a shirt on u ******* ******
Zachrutan13 0
dumb ass
Cynnnnthia 0
uhh are you retarded!? hahaha