Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML
Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML
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Top comments
starile 20
You're stupid
Zestus 19
Perfume oughta taste like it smells. but I suppose that'd taste terrible, too.
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Comments (144)
QwertyMcNugget 0
Gotta be smarter than the lable hun.
Shinygirlnz 1
Obviously it didn't belong to you (because you didn't know it was purfume)... and obviously you didn't ask the person it belonged to if you could have some (because they would have told you it was purfume). So you totally deserved it - get some manners! And also, you're a jacka55.
teamsleep22 0
39 u are sexy
SkroaI 0
Whaa?
iron_chefITALY 0
44 you are creepy
teamsleep22 0
u look like ur getting ur dick sucked by a dude 49
KenKaniff 0
Oh believe me, 49 gives it good
illmatic2 16
81- Wins because of his name.
serj_fml 0
I get it like the orbits commercial right? oh yea hi5 anyone!?! but really are you a flipping two year old!
DoctorDudley 0
Ewww. perfume makes me feel sick. -.-
illmatic2 16
What? I love those, they are my second favorite. Only behind reeses.
ehh_fxckin1211 0
hahaha read the label next time
fruityloopz 4
since when does perfume look like candy?