Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
That's what you get for trying to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. And if you had been hooking up with the girl, why in the world would she smack you just for kissing her?
Amkii 0
Wtf, why would she hit you for kissing her?? #2 - That's what I want to know, too!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
adelaide_evening 0
That's what you get for trying to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. And if you had been hooking up with the girl, why in the world would she smack you just for kissing her?
Tkdxxxse 0
he should have threw her on the ground and raped her then she would slap hiS other head
bestnameright 14
Maybe they were just friends with benefits???
Amkii 0
Wtf, why would she hit you for kissing her?? #2 - That's what I want to know, too!
yougotboyed 0
thats funny north london collegiant girls are gay init
Lotus_Eater 0
That's what you get for being immature.
Aviva1313 0
Are you sure you've been hooking up with this girl? Maybe she would call it something else....you should clear that up with her and then write an FML about how you thought you've been hooking up with a girl but apparently according to her you havn't.
csigabajnok 0
That was so right
MassiveAttack_fml 0
#9 FTW
Plus_fml 0
LOL, you deserved it, sorry. #8, maybe she didn't know it was his ex.
haygurlhay 0
Your fault, nothing more to it.
blah_blah_shity 0
HA! i laughed out loud for that one. loser. thats what you get for: a) trying to make your ex jealous... you were already with another girl! b) using the girl you were "hooking up" with just for some petty bullshit LOL