Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
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Top comments
PuffDaddy395 3
Are the kids studying astronomy? Maybe study of the stars, sun, and your moon?
TrueTriage 16
Sounds like you need to ask the parents for a raise... And maybe a leash
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Comments (127)
PuffDaddy395 3
Are the kids studying astronomy? Maybe study of the stars, sun, and your moon?
trollfaced 2
I think that was human anatomy. Nevermind I killed it. I'll stop now
dheunwj 3
Wtf
HowAreYouToday 34
At least they didn't see the other side of the moon.
DeadxManxWalking 27
And the big dipper
ghirahim 5
Wow...just wow
_Oblivion_ 12
Chances are no one is always looking up when they are walking down the street. Although, if it's NYC people are always gazing around
boschwachter 7
People only gaze around when they are in new York? No wonder I feel out of place when I gaze around.
ConBroChilll 9
85- i agree and op is in utah.... im pretty sure there is a small population there.
syki 22
Can't believe no one's brought up Uranus yet.
buck33 14
85 - In Utah there is a small population, but it's actually quite dense in the Utah and Salt Lake valleys. The OP may live in an apartment in downtown SLC, or in a suburban town. So who knows if anyone even saw? Besides the kids of course.
_duhastmich 11
19 - I'm thinking the people on the street may have seen the other side since the window was in front of him. :/
_Oblivion_ 12
*Not just NYC
Zedd_fml 8
19-If you are referring to the "dark side of the moon" then Pink Floyd saw it.
ashtonlm 3
Wow that has got to be embarrassing... Just punish them
mduffy08 8
With fire... FIRE!
SuperKnuckels 6
no no just keep tapping there necks while making the "Tsst" sound and eventually they will be in a calm and submissive state. You must be a dominant pack leader.
mystashisgone 6
Unplug all electronics lock the doors and show them a video of childbirth. Next time they might mind themselves if not, show them the brain surgery you are going to have done on them if they misbehave again.
JKr3slEMO 5
so OP...I see you're One Direction fan..I was going to write a clever comment( or at least attempt to) but now...I just can't.
arly2299 4
Probably should've punished the kids -.-
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Jesus. I read this as "probably should have pushed the kids".
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh shit. Double post. Uh... What to do... Uh... OH EE OH AG AH TING TANG WALLA EALLA BING BANG and shit.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What? You've guys have never misread something before? Just me? God, what's wrong with me? Oh. Right. I'm crazy.
mduffy08 8
35 - Well, you are having a conversation with yourself.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well duh, Mr. No means yes.
mduffy08 8
Uhhh... The devil made me do it!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Don't bring the politicians into this.
GoodCopBadCop 3
haha, good 1
saintsrocksocks 10
Haha, good one.* Take that.
bvq25 8
if politicians are devils that makes the president satan. i knew it!!!!
lonkite101 14
Thats why they call him O-Bomb-A. !!
Forlorn420 9
Satan does throw a great "Hell on Earth 2006" party though
xtalondriver 14
3 on 1. That's hardly a fair fight.
NOOBSQUAD 0
Yeah when I was a kid I would kick my babysitter in the shin, or punch her in the boob, then run and hide, I was a little shit. Sigh, Those were the days.
saintsrocksocks 10
Once way back in the time where the dinosaur ruled the world, I unhooked my babysitter's bra drummed out songs on her boobs. And then she woke up. And then I continued. And and is not the proper way to start a sentence.
NOOBSQUAD 0
No and is not a proper way to start a sentence, but we all appreciate the honesty in the story where you drummed on your babysitters boobs, or, stay with me here, you are referring to another FML?
saintsrocksocks 10
No, when this happened Perdix was just starting to comment on FML and Docbastard had just created TheManInTheMachine. This is an experience not an FML.
torbey 23
'and then the parents pulled up in the driveway...' that would make it a true FML.
Rowdey 10
57 - Now you're going to have to wait until your super old to touch random boob. Those were, indeed, the days.
comeatmebroo6254 1
Eh. Don't be too embarrassed. If you pulled your pants up right away I doubt anyone saw. In the mean time though... Put those kids in timeout!
TheDrifter 24
Timeout, that's the time it takes them to get up after you punish them, right? Man I need an urban dictionary app.
jetsown08 21
18- what the **** did you just say?
phatdaddy62 23
89. Are you really that clueless?
TrueTriage 16
Sounds like you need to ask the parents for a raise... And maybe a leash
onlychildFTW 34
Leashes, that would be best.
Prolux_fml 23
Yes, leashes would make sure they're always in pant-pulling range aswell...
Blackmail111 9
1 baby sitter. 3 kids. It's time for The Sitter Part 2!
capper44 18
So it means you got tricked by three kids and the whole street witnessed it... FYL op !!
Skyblu10 10
Well no shit, that's exactly what OP said.
poetrywriter12 6
I bet some kids got a shock sex ed session on the street below...
pcentral 17
Haha you got OWNED!!
Trisha_aus 15
So what does she own now?
matthewiverson 7
I'm moving to sydney.' 2 months baby
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Hey 65 nobody cares