Check 'em

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

Let down

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

Thanks, I hate it

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

Put it away!

Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML