Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, my mom once again yelled at me for "driving erratically." She texts while driving 70 miles per hour on the highway, but apparently driving through a yellow light is "reckless." FML
Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML
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Top comments
RugbyKid 0
**** you alcoholics I can arrest you whenever I want
roseydot 0
Your mom kicks ass.
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Comments (128)
ashleighbreak 0
HAHA super awesome mom!
liy223 6
that's glorious...
Nuttyicecream 2
somebody tame that milf !!!!!
956 0
That's too ******* funny! Lmfao!
sheethapins 13
Sorry, I kept feeding her tequila shots trying to finally make it with a milf, but when I told her she was one she thought I said "milk" and wanted to go to the store... sorry about that op.
Raywjrulezbutfml 0
Haha... Almost 2 funny. NOT.
phatdaddy62 23
Run Forrest Run!
northern_lights 0
OP, I'm sorry. FYL for having a (possibly) mentally ill or drug addict Mother. This is no way "cool" or "awesome." Get your Mom help.
Cosmopeaches 0
She will probably regret her actions the next day, if she even remembers exactly what happened. It could be a good chance for you to convince her to get help for her drinking when you remind her of the incident tomorrow.
denvan 0
hahaha you should've taken a video and uploaded on youtue
LilMonsterGirl 10
That's attractive.