Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
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Top comments
maz95 17
Maybe you were safer walking home than being in the car with your mum in that state.
perdix 31
You should have said, "Aw, mum, gimme a brake!" Even better, learn the difference between "brake" and "break."
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Comments (60)
sylvie211 6
ha,my moms the same
mmmPoptarts 6
Your mom's just a horrible hypocrite.
happle 21
Hungry hungry hypocrite.
HairyPunisher 27
Cool story bro.
sigurd 11
Ironic statement about road rage.
GuessWhatKids 13
Thanks for pointing that out, I can't read.
sigurd 11
Always nice to help :), jokes away. Sorry for the bad comment.
80sgurl 15
Next time just let her get out her road rage, so you won't get introuble or have to walk.
VannahJane 17
Road rage can make good drivers dangerous drivers.
lilhellian 27
I'd rather walk then be in a car with a road raged driver.. MY chances just seem higher that way..
Bluekaren16 19
#24- Yes, definitely your chances of living.
420Zombie 17
but not your chances of being on time 24
Zomg_Okay 27
Better late than never and it could very well be never if the driver has road rage.
perdix 31
You should have said, "Aw, mum, gimme a brake!" Even better, learn the difference between "brake" and "break."
gc327072 31
I hate when people don't no the difference between two words.
ballpython 15
I would have said that "two"
ballpython 15
Their and There, To Too and Two, Your and You're, Weather and Whether, obviously Break and Brake. I could go on but I won't.
perdix 31
#13, you won't, but I will. You forgot they're and yore. Its and it's, discreet and discrete, principal and principle, site, cite and sight.
snufflelump 12
Brake me off a piece of that kit kat bar! Sorry Perdix, I just couldn't resist finishing your comment for you! you can thank me later.. with a kit kat bar :)
Pleonasm 36
Practice/practise, Affect/effect, Quote/quoatation, alot/ a lot, A while/ Awhile
andyyroxx 20
You fool... you 'defiantly' do not seem to understand Perdix' comment.
gc327072 31
Noor didn't get the pun?! :0 *gasp*
perdix 31
#34, yes, Noor, I'm surprised that you'd make such a rookie mistake. Being serious on FML? That's for n00bs!
young_weezy_fml 3
there is usually need for road rage
happle 21
Like when?
young_weezy_fml 3
like when you cross in the middle of the road
enbliss 10
hey, you gotta set a good example for your kids and she did GREAT!!!!
Nicole1225 14
Anger issues. She should probably see someone about that. You know, find another way to vent than to throw their child out of the car....
420Zombie 17
huuuh? throwing her child out of the car to walk on the side of the road like a deranged hitch hiker ISN'T good parenting?!
maz95 17
Maybe you were safer walking home than being in the car with your mum in that state.
Lionesse 15
OP auto know that Mom's can be crazy drivers.
iarefatal 9
Ahh I see the pun now
Lionesse 15
#19 It's a play on words. Otherwise known as a pun. Auto is a car. Like automobile. . . . . Why did you change your comment all of a sudden.. That grinds my gears.
iarefatal 9
My mistake, I was just looking at perdix's rant on word mix ups. I admit defeat
Lionesse 15
Right on.
iarefatal 9
Changed it out of shame that I was one of those pun oblivious commenters>.<
5t3ff1k4h 45
It brakes me to see someone use the wrong homonym.
happle 21
Homophone*?
5t3ff1k4h 45
Taken. My mistake.