Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, my mom once again yelled at me for "driving erratically." She texts while driving 70 miles per hour on the highway, but apparently driving through a yellow light is "reckless." FML
Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML
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Top comments
RugbyKid 0
**** you alcoholics I can arrest you whenever I want
roseydot 0
Your mom kicks ass.
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Comments (128)
capitalone 0
haha, your moms sweet!
iReadFmlsFml 0
She was driving under the influence, totally safe, how cool is that! Mom's got sweet style bro, FYL OP, sorry.
nikki9tails 3
Ha thats funny I could picture something like that on family guy or American dad but ya drinking and driving is bad
Livinia 11
At least she wasn't naked.
Blueglasscup 18
I remember that FML!
phatdaddy62 23
If she had been naked, somebody would've said "pics or it didn't happen!"
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
damn, thats..awsome? lol you shouldnt tell anyoneyou know that this happened.
blondebrunette11 4
hell, I'd tell my dad
LaughinStock 16
he told the internet though 0.o
LemonStarship 5
Don't tase me bro
eckksDeeitsTravi 0
Come at meh, bro!
birdfreak 24
wow! interesting mum, yes?
thatnucca 36
The delusional effect of the devil's piss... Gets them all the time... At least she wasn't showing off pole dancing skills at the park...
forever2life 0
I remember that FML! lol
florenzfang 0
Run mama run !
Nemo1123 0
This is one situation that would be hilarious to watch, but not if it was your own mother. But its these awful/ funny events that make the best stories latter. ..you should be looking forward to that.
bibit1990 2
try and picture the conversation the next morning over breakfast.. "hey mom, soo...where were you last night.." ....awkward silence..... "totally kidding..! I; along with everyone we know, saw you running down the street screaming!!!! WTH MOM!?! come on!!" lol
T3P33_fml 0
I sense a raise in OP's allowance...