Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML
Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
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Top comments
Mr_Alarm 12
That sounds like a shi- *gets shot*
Lemuel_fml 5
I wonder how the toilet seat broke in the first place...
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Comments (88)
perdix 31
What do you need to see in the shower anyways? You can always squat over the toilet until you can arrange financing for a new seat. If you are so poor, you should be ******** in the woods.
margie4peace 11
You used to be funny, Perdix. Now you are usually just mean. What happened?
padlarf 14
You could use the toilet without a seat, you know. Sure, it isn't very comfortable, but it should get you through to when you buy a new seat.
disney_blonde 16
You can get a toilet seat for $10 or less at Walmart, why would you keep using a broken one?
popee_fml 1
@ disney_blonde: actually it will be pretty expensive for the OP to buy a seat in Walmart... I guess it will be minimum 400$ to buy a plane ticket to the US to go to Walmart :D! And maybe his/her toilet sit broke as he/she was sitting on the seat...
Cappiej 18
Correct, OP clearly stated that the broken toilet seat slid off
kimono_fml 17
seriously? ... its not like UK doesn't have its own walmart chain. it's called asda
akayc32 0
$400 for a plane ticket? To where? Cost more to fly from Houston to Vegas
grands138 4
I really can't stand morons like you who read every sentence so literally. So she said Walmart. All that was meant was that you can pick up a cheap toilet seat lid at a store nearby. I bet you're the kind of idiot who will sit at a red light in the middle of the night until it turns green, when there's not a soul in sight.
False_Stupidity 42
#45 actually that last bit is not so idiotic if there's a red light camera. They don't care if there's other cars or not. Also, 31 was making a joke, get a sense of humor, maybe you can get those at walmart too.
BRidgetg123 0
At least you still get to take warm showers. And unlike me, I bet you can buy toilet paper
mrbuddy 0
Can't afford TP? Sell the computer you're on and get some. Or stop wasting time online and work for some. Some one will be willing to pay in TP.
Glidefedt 6
You didn't do the safety dance, so you got punished.
avengergirl 1
Op what type of crappy apartment/house do u live in where everything is falling apart??
grands138 4
Maybe try taking a class in home repair. Christ, what is it like to be so helpless?
SorrowFull 8
Are you auditioning for Monty Python, or Benny Hill?
jayhwker2011 0
I would say but a new toilet seat they are pretty cheap at Walmart