Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was screen-sharing during a virtual meeting when my cat jumped up and walked across my keyboard, and revealed my embarrassing search history. FML
Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I accidentally sent my boss a meme about hating work. Her reply? "Same." FML
Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML
Today, a few weeks after moving in with my boyfriend, I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead. His most recent searches? "How kill cat", "Kill cat laws", "Cat + poison". I thought he was ok with my cat when I moved in. FML
Today, I accidentally liked a coworker’s old social media photo while scrolling at 2 a.m. Panicking, I unliked it immediately, knowing full well notifications exist. The next morning, they casually asked if I was “up late.” I considered quitting my job. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Most phones have locks.
jkjorn 18
OTOH, you also have access to her search history, so.. arm yourself in case she makes an issue of it!
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Comments (4)
DLBL 23
Most phones have locks.
jkjorn 18
OTOH, you also have access to her search history, so.. arm yourself in case she makes an issue of it!
Wadlaen 24
That's if she chooses to access it. I don't think I'd ever think about that if I accidentally swapped phones with someone.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Could have been gnome 🌽 or something worse.