Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
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Top comments
HeyThereGorgeous 0
German Shepherds are beautiful and sweet if trained correctly. Clearly this one wasn't
Tehalon 0
You gotta admit that it's funny :P
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Comments (154)
Moemoemoe_fml 0
All the people saying "Oh, psssh, a dog might bite you?? Nonsense, dogs would neeeever bite" must never have had any experience with animals aside from a lobotomized lap poodle. Seriously, dogs CAN and WILL bite you suddenly for a number of reasons. Like someone else pointed out, if he was previously an abused dog, he might have problems, if he's poorly trained, if the owner (who sounds like a jerk) is a freak who gets his dog to fight or to attack people he perceives as invading his territory (people do when they "think" they're training their dog to guard their house, and it ends up with the dog biting someone outside when they think the person invaded "their space")... there's a TON of possible ways this could have ended badly. If the dog was all smiles and being friendly, I wouldn't say, but the OP said he was growling! The OP was right to have waited, and it does suck that the dog owner has so little respect for other people that he reacts that way, on top of having put the dog there in the first place. Sure, it's not a "his life is ruined" thing, but this site is first and foremost an humor site, not a tragedy site. It was annoying for the OP, but it was darn funny for us reading. If you fail to understand the concept, and only wish to see FML where people's lives are TRULY ruined, then I seriously think you picked the wrong site. :-/
mattharrison94 0
Duh that happened on Reno 911, Stupid
McLaughlane 0
What part of "growling dog" did you people miss? If a dog is growling then chances are it's pissed off and going to bite you. Don't get started with that play-growling shit, you can tell when it's friendly, and clearly this wasn't.
Cakeman9 0
Lawl.
silvermoonstar3 3
While MOST dogs won't attack you randomly, it sounds like this is one of the mean ones. Where the owner laughed at OP, maybe he does stupid stuff to piss off the dog all the time (abuse). That can make for some really mean dogs. Anyways, the bike rack is NOT a dog rack. FYL, that guy's a real jerk. He was rude, inconsiderate, mean, and wasted your time. Next time, you could always call animal control and say someone abandoned their dog at the bike rack and that it looks mean.
curlyqt 0
He probably was harmless and wanted a nice belly rub
Xbox360Fan 0
oh no u got laughed at f your life you poor thing
The_Master 0
yeah, #1. this totally could've been a vicious dog growling and snarling and such. and the OP could've had to sit and wait for 20-30 mins with this dog looking at them like they were a nice stear dinner or something...i agree, OP, FYL
Polionixon 2
ok.. i work at a dog kennel and we get german sheperds in all the time. I've only had one that would actually bite at people. The rest were all loveable and big babies :P Your just afraid of their rep like the doberman thing. Btw i work with tons of dobermans everyday they are the furthest things from vicious :P
aback 5
Some people own vicious dogs as a passive-aggressive way to intimidate or harm others. Sounds like you ran into one of those owners. Lucky you. :(