Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML
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Top comments
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
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Comments (143)
mushrooms_fml 0
You deserved it, let her buy what she wants. And no way, she threw her change at you? You poor thing. Your life must be ruined. **** your life indeed.
thequickredofox 0
Most rental companies have safety standards they need to follow. One of them is making sure people have the right equipment for the job, otherwise they get injured and (if in America) sue the company!
ihatestupidppl 0
Sorry, I had to comment, because the phrase "not all americans are sue-happy" made me lol. What part of America do you live in? I'm an American too, and i have no prob
ihatestupidppl 0
(This is sort of a double post, it cut my comment off...wtf is wrong with FML lately?) Sorry, I had to comment, because the phrase "not all americans are sue-happy" made me lol. What part of America do you live in? I'm an American too, and i have no problem admitting this country is full of idiots who LOVE to abuse the legal system. A man in Michigan sues a store because an employee shot him...while he was ROBBING THEM AT KNIFEPOINT. A man sues Lodi, California because a vehicle owned by the city backed into his truck. Guess who was driving the city-owned vehicle? Yep, the very same man doing the suing. A former Manhattan lawyer who pleaded guilty to statutory rape sues American Express for giving police credit card information that led to his capture. Various people sue various companies (McDonalds, Pirates Booty, etc) because eating their food made them fat. (Not, you know, their lack of self control). I'd keep listing them, but this comment would go on forever. I love my country as much as anyone, but I can also call a spade a spade.
nightwing2 3
She could use the drill, find it bad and sue him. Even after he warned her so either ways he's in trouble.
Starayo 1
Sigh. People like this should be wiped from the gene pool.
xrudeboyrock 29
the OP or the customer?
plexico 4
Be happy that she gave you a tip. It was just you snotty-ass attitude that got it thrown at you, because you could explain that she was almost right in that they are both metals. YDI for not wearing your cool Period Table of the Elements T-shirt at all times. You could have had her playing with your chest pointing out where aluminum (American spelling), iron and carbon are. Then, after a few drinks, you could have introduced her to the trans-uranium elements, heh-heh-heh. Way to go, Einsteinium!
gummibehrs 4
What is up with this comment board? The comments randomly rearrange themselves or disappear.
thequickredofox 0
Oh good, it's not just me then! It's late here and I thought it might be my eyes playing tricks.
gummibehrs 4
Haha I know, I was confused at first but I refreshed the page three or four times, and it kept changing.
hardestbutton 5
this is pretty douchey and pretentious sounding to be so anticlimactic.
nick90 0
WTF im confused, ur a douche, she should of hit u not just throw some coins at u!
Brey1013 0
...she threw her change at you? OH MY GOD wow. i'm amazed u made it out alive to write this incredibly gripping, exciting and hilarious FML. you might wanna try mylifeisaverage.com in future for these awesome storys of mediocrity. FYL for being ******* boring.
gummibehrs 4
I really have to agree with you here.
3406e 0
Aluminum isn't a steel, it's a metal.
DBJ740 0
Wow. Who the **** still wears Von Dutch hats? Kill her and then yourself please.
kacie13 1
this confuses me. anddd threw her change at you? like..coin change? if so, I don't understand how this is an fml. :/