Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML
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Top comments
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
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Comments (143)
loucifer667 0
wow... perhaps you should add another post tomorrow about how you tried to be funny and post on FML, but instead you sounded like a total a-hole!!!
ayashe 2
So? Be glad she didn't throw the drill at you. And you are a smartass.
mam2u 0
FYL op for trying to make yourself sound so much smarter than I'm sure you are. Oh no!! Change was thrown at you? Unless a dime was lodged in your eye socket STFU. Anyone who writes like they're in the finals for SAT vocabulary needs deserves a lot more than 35 cents thrown in their face.
beastly1678 0
being from the valley were the whole valley girl thing started i have to say it is hard not to talk that sometimes, i have since moved from the valley and still get made fun for saying like in every sentence be compassionate YDI.
Calaura9 0
Your FML is so condescneding and I could see how she would feel as if you were being a smart ass. I bet you're one of those people who try to make everyone feel inferior to you. You were full of prejudice for her even before you spoke to her. It is possible that her appearance altered the way would would have spoken to... lets say a huge burly man in a plaid shirt. Next time try to seem more friendly and not like an asshole who needs to put others down to make himself feel better.
allie2590 31
Way to jump to conclusions. He was just correcting a simple fact for her. I think she might be the one full of prejudice for valley girls if something as simple as that set her off.
Trollkiller 0
the guy who wrote this fml is ahole. I had to read it again n again just to get the reason y the prick is defining alot abt the village girl (or wateva gal).if I were her and some dumb blonde was telling me aluminium is not a type of dudi I would throw my shoes on him ,not change...
generalsmith2 0
look at the way this is written, she probably threw the change at him because he was an egotistical douchebag asshole, judging her, and bein a dick. also. who the **** cares if he had change thrown at him? really?
mike2012 0
i dont get this fml.... i tried wording it better but still dont understand. who the **** is von ductch??? if someone re-words this for me i will be their best friend :)
lologirl419 0
Hello # 58. (Sorry for the repost Website Moderators, please don't moderate me). I will re-word the FML for you: Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML --- "Today, I rented a drill to a valley girl (a rude term for an upper-class girl, normally stereotyped as a person who talks all girly and says LIKE OMIGOD after every sentence, like, omigod). And Von Dutch is a store where these 'valley girls' shop. I tried to convince her that aluminum is not a form of steel. Apparently, she thought I was being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML." I hope I helped =) See, OP, how hard would it have been to word it like THAT (minus my explanations)?
tinyding 0
LAWL
gummibehrs 4
Lol, Tarynkd - that was amazing.
ycfan_98 0
haha, best thing ever, Tarynkd
lologirl419 0
Wow OP, way to classify people. YDI for saying 'valley girl' LIKE OMG. And I know you were trying to make your FML sound all 'smart' or whatever to prove that you really ARE smarter than the 'valley girl,' but in doing that, your wording made no sense, and you sounded like an asshole. So congratulations.
lovetoday_fml 0
...what?