Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
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Top comments
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
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Comments (143)
x_Leopard_x 1
I feel very confused. =S Well, I understood the last sentence. xD That stinks that she threw change at you! :O
Calaura9 0
I lOVE Tarynkd!
Caldwell94 0
Damn, could you have worded this worse? The first two times I read it I thought you were trying drill a valley girl....
lastusernameleft 0
Haha that's what I thought the first few times a read it. Then I was like why is rent in between these 2 damn words?
Caldwell94 0
yeah i thought maybe she was a prostitute he tried to "drill" but for some reason they started talking about metal and he was being snooty so she bitch slapped his ass outta the car
TimmyM 0
Would help if he used the correct Effect/affect. The word he used, Affect, means to affect or to change something.
gummibehrs 4
Very true. It seems the OP is a dumb-ass indeed.
graceinsheepwear 34
affect is a way to describe speech, as in flat affect
BLiNdZoRz 3
Ahh ****, it's another FML that makes you have to think to understand it. I just want to come on this site and read something and laugh at it. Not have to think hard to understand what it means! YDI for making me think.
Envirochick 0
I love how you tried to make yourself seem smarter then this valley girl and in your haste to post this you made the post impossible to understand and only made yourself seem stupid. What the heck is a speech affect? It's a speech impediment you moron. Who the hell uses the term disabuse anymore? Why not just say that you were trying to convince her that steel didn't contain aluminum? It would make the post a lot easier to read for anyone who isn't an English professor.
lifeislife_fml 0
Obviously THE GIRL thought aluminum was a form of steel, so the OP tried to convince her otherwise, but she got mad for no plausible reason.
Areeane 0
I have no idea what the hell you're trying to say, or how this FML even got on here.
shockeyvz 0
to be honest, i ddn't understand a wotd of that
Julioyobaby 0
Didn't understand shit of this FML. So either way, YFDI.
MorlekEngel 0
look at the way you write the fml ********. your not a smart arse, your condesending. when they were handing out personality, you were standing in the ego queue for seconds. **** off! no wonder you're only 'renting drills' to 'valley girls' instead of having a real job. omadhán.