Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
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Top comments
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
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Comments (143)
lifeislife_fml 0
COMPLETELY agree. I have no clue why so many people are hating on the OP for "belittling and mocking" the girl (which wasn't even mentioned in the FML so how the hell do they know if he insulted her or not?). Everyone judges people, whether they want to or not.
srslyeffed 0
You're as dumb as the valley girl.
Tokie_fml 0
what the **** this makes no sense whoever mod'ed this fyl for being able to understand what the he'll the op was trying to say
pistonchamp159 0
well i feel like the FML is just a bunch of random words put together. I have no idea what this says at all.
madmax14304 1
OP deserved it. He sounds like a douchebag.
Micky_Pain 0
Not the best worded fml ever, but once you understand that "rent a drill to a valley girl" actually means that she rented an actual drill and it's not some stupid slang for getting some it starts to make sense. All in all a very "meh" fml.
margie4peace 11
You sure sound like a smartass to me!
_electricbonbon 0
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU FOR THAT STUPID ASS FML.
YourFaceIsFML 0
yeah, wtf does this even mean? too confusing, how'd they let you post this?
NaziZombie 0
Ow wtf are you saying?