Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself. I'd got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying, "Your cat is fat." FML
Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML
Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML
Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived, I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
That's the danger of Photoshopping your MySpace picture too much and celebrating your fraud by stuffing your face with chili cheese fries.
ISellHerbs 0
Maybe you should take that as a hint.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
sushi314 12
Maybe he legitimately saw someone at Old navy who looked like you but weighed more? Ask what time it was.
grim0925 0
that is incentive to lose some weight before you meet him.
BlowYaMind 0
hmm i have just the thing to help you.... Globo Gym Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive? White Goodman: [finshing a ride on the skis] Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm White Goodman, Owner, Operator, and Founder of Globo Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what ya got. [a buffed Globo Gym member is lifting weights] White Goodman: Hey, Rory. Looking good. Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. White Goodman: [climbing on the rocky wall; grunts] And that's where we come in. [evil laughter] White Goodman: Globo Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine! hope it helps! :] GL!
sondramcfail 0
Hahaha! x) "At Globo Gym, we're better than you - and we know it!"
BlowYaMind 0
haha xD (Fat picture of White Goodman) "That's me. Six years and 600 pounds ago... before I knew how much I hated myself."
lets_be_ian 5
*eating fried chicken and ice cream out of the bucket and watching TV in the lounge* "******* Chunk Noris!"
liveBabylon 0
That's what you get for editing the flab out of your myspace pics.
kristidgranger 3
talking for a while but never met? well I wouldn't talk to him anymore
Mx_Rider 6
MORE CUSHIN FOR THE PUSHIN
sondramcfail 0
OK, this is odd: 1. "Talking to for a while" but never met in real life. I don't get why people talk SO MUCH to people on myspace or whatever, but have never met, and never will. 2. He's weird, why would he tell you that? "I saw a girl who looked like you. But fatter." Suave. Charming. And let me guess: you are well versed in the Myspace Angles techniques? Yes?
MoobyTheCow 2
YDI for using a Myspace Angle.
holmcross 0
ANGLE SHOTS! WOOOO
jonny2x4 0
Who the hell shops at Old Navy anyway? Crap clothes.
kukopia 0
Apparently fatties shop at Old Navy...