Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
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Top comments
jemmers 13
Go grandma! At least she had fun.
kjcamaro3 5
Come on granny....roll those hooters back up!
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Comments (157)
grrrrmetigers 0
daammn! grandma parties hard(:
4gethishit 4
sounds like ur grandma knows how to party.....
alival 12
The next family gathering might be awkward
whitey53 5
Grams knows how to throw it down and party.
picklemonger 13
Yes, your life sucks. But I'm guessing it sucked a lot more to whomever your grandma exposed herself to. :-) LOL
silentbutfunny 0
You never know, people will pay to see Granny's Gone Wild
ErinBeam 1
Sounds like your grandmother had more fun than you did
alival 12
Ya which is pretty sad...
old09 11
Sounds like a party Whoo whoo
rexdog7 5
Gmilf?
monkeywrench1 10
Gilf. That sounds better ;)
Okayitwasme 0
Cool Grandma. She must have been a wild cat in her day! This is just an oppertunity to tease her every now and then. Something for you both to giggle over.
QQMorePlox 18
Tell the cops pics or it didn't happen