Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ummmyeahhh 0
ok, bad move. but if all you heard was heavy breathing, you'd think it was some creeper or a prank. so, yeah, i understand. hope your grandma is okay.
arms_akimbo 0
How could you know?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
arms_akimbo 0
How could you know?
LegitDGK 0
caller id
nateb1tch 1
you do know not all phones are equipped with caller Id right? since I'm a teen I'd say the same thing. usually people call the hospital, not their grandchildren when they are having a stroke.
PrimeStarscream 30
As a person who survived a minor stroke, let's just say your thinking can get screwed up when you're having a stroke. I used to be insanely good at math. Now I'm lucky if I remember how to do simple addition on a good day.
alex_vik 1
Wow you're a dick.
lolol182 4
what a total asshole
batch56 0
Yikes.
ummmyeahhh 0
ok, bad move. but if all you heard was heavy breathing, you'd think it was some creeper or a prank. so, yeah, i understand. hope your grandma is okay.
proxxX069069 7
heavy breathing? sex?? ;]
amanda_fml_fml 0
caller id?
esfox83 17
that's what I'm sayin..don't you know and recognize your grandmas phone number!?or do you still live in the 80's where there was no caller ID
aichd13 4
Not all phones have caller Id.. even in 2011.
Matt_greener 8
But what about 2013
LadyCianne 0
Ouch. That must suck. # 2 and 3 are idiots. It's not like he/she could have known.
iworryaboutyou 4
What'd 2 & 3 say?
killa_chris 0
wow, that's ****** up. what happened to her?
CaptainObvious_fml 0
D: Holy crap!! Hope she's ok
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
caller id dumbass
drummerforever 0
not all people have this, dumbass