Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
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Comments (135)
Kidjazzin 17
That's kind of rude your mom would open your stuff.
Dendrocker 15
Yeeeeahhhh BABAH
cheeeksss 29
The first thing I thought; depending on your age, your mom should not be opening your mail. But I assume since you're sexually active, you are old enough.
Grayness_ 26
Tbh, I've met people, guys and girls, that started when they were 13.
MrConcise 35
Sexually active =/= concerned about stamina. That"s sort of an adult or older man thing.
cocainewhore 30
The mum shouldn't be opening their child's mail no matter what the age. Unless they are asked to, of course.
lovelockdown23 23
age does Matter. I'm going to continue opening my sons mail untill he's about 14/ 15 then I will give him "some" privacy. that's part of the issue today with raising kids parents are all about allowing their child to do whatever they want and giving them their privacy. what happened to being involved and staying on top of what your child is doing.
IceCreamMage 17
Hate to say it but if he's got a credit card to be hitting up Amazon I doubt he'll be under the age of 15, #103. Either way, as said above, it's unlikely he's a kid still. I agree about being involved as a parent and opening their mail while they're still younger. If he is indeed 18 or above though, she shouldn't be anymore.
lovelockdown23 23
agreed
iraisadumbass 14
I would hate to be your son. He is just going to resent you for not trusting him. "Children of strict parents get into the most trouble."
Wafalafaugus 18
Check your local 7-11 or similar convenience store. Some will have Amazon lockers, which you can choose to have your package delivered to. That way you don't have to worry about others snooping into your packages.
RuBloKon 15
I don't think it's that big an issue...
VeganDarkLight 31
OP's from Germany, no 7-11 over here^^ Most online shops leave you the alternative to have your package delivered to a post office though, so you're not totally wrong (they also get sent there if nobody's home to take a delivery).
igg125 30
Last time she saw your Johonson it was about two inches and you were probably 5. Now she knows it hasn't gotten much bigger.
Dick_diamond 22
Where did you get size from what OP said?
MidnaLink 35
igg125- Dude, you could have the biggest schlong in the world, and staying power still wouldn't matter.
vikky538 29
From the name of the pills it not as hard it seems
vikky538 29
Someone is ready for Sex marathon.
Exaspera 55
She had no business opening your stuff.
MisterEx 28
But she did. Now what?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Now you say "Dad asked me to buy them cause he was too embarrassed."
MrConcise 35
That awkward moment when your parents are divorced.
AyeJay101 25
I wonder how hard was it to get out of that awkward situation, I'm sure it didn't last long though.
amileah13 26
That is exactly why I hate living with my parents. Sometimes they tend to open up my mail or packages and it's an invasion of privacy.
Reider022 16
Also illegal in some places I'm pretty sure, but as all who live with their parents know, the parents overrule the law in their own home.