Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
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Comments (135)
brycemash 9
Blame it on dad
ZombieSazza 34
... Why is your Mother going through your mail..?
cathrope 10
You made my day, thank you.
psychopolarbear 28
He couldn't do it. He won't expect us to be able to go on too long either, hopefully.
0neiros 14
Eh, order a big ***** with her name on the order, make sure it gets delivered and unboxed during Sunday dinner.
skittles73 14
"Pointing to my package" I'm sorry what package are you referring to? O.o
Mpineda57 11
Sounds like a HARD situation
ezrajab 22
Why is your mom opening your mail? Opening mail that isn't addressed to you is a federal offense mom or not I would have a talk with her and try to get her to understand that. Sorry op
yupimtatted27 5
lmfao thats outta pocket.
mine___turtles10 13
This sounds like a prono. Blech