buhknee
United States
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
KillMeNow
United States
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
IB6UB9
United States
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
team hit bella with a car
Odenton, United States
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Anonymous
Artistic licence
Today, after spending at least 4 hours drawing a realistic shadow of a vampire for a picture contest, I finally remembered that vampires aren't supposed to produce shadows. FML
Hmmmm
Cleveland, United States
Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Anonymous
Stuck in the past
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
chapstick
San Dimas, United States
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
miss tomato
United States
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
anaph0re
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
France
Dark times
Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML
nyaahaha
United States
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Top comments
Squadoosh 0
Lol, yeah. Our generation is in love with gay vampires.
werzal 5
So technically "F*CK OUR LIFE" ... Thats so awful...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (374)
DirtyDiana_fml 0
What are they letting all the bad FML's through today?
Resistance2 0
******* emos I hate all of their lazy asses, they way sympathy because they're lazy and want their life handled by someone else, stupid ******* fags
DragonitePaladin 6
Screw Stephanie Meyer; She’s the s***tiest writer I’ve ever seen. She’s the newbiest of all newbs. She’s such a crappy writer, that she makes it look easy to just pick up a pen and write a book, get it published – by an equally retarded publisher – and get a buncha prestigious rewards for it. That’s a load of Bulls***. I can’t believe they compare her writing to J.K. Rowling. I’ve read harry potter (respect the series – awesome) and I have to say J.K. Rowling is really talented and a very good story writer. The plot, web of puzzles, and characters she incorporates are really complex. Stephanie Meyer? Her book sounds like a creepy sexual fantasy. She even said it herself, quote; “I saw it in a dream”. WTF? What a load of crap. And now you’ve got all those stupid girls going gaga over a stupid bimbo who sets a bad example on how relationships should be – the fact that a girls should run away with a creepy sparkly stalker who is sooooooo “Perfect”. Yeah good luck with that; I’d like to see you find the “Perfect” man in the world. That’s BS and nobody’s perfect in the world. If there’s one word that I despise and I don’t consider being in my literary dictionary; then it’s “Perfect”. Just look at a few quotes for her book; like his “breath” being “sweet” and “cool” or his “chest” being “sculpted” and “incandescent”. Great that’s all I need to know. You want to lower your Literary IQ? Go read her book; you can find: THESAURUS RAPE (so many retarded adjectives to describe how “Perfect” “Eddy” is. STALKING (enough times) INFANT PEDOPHILIA (creepiest pile of crap I’ve seen) MANIPULATION OVERLY EXCESSIVE INFATUATION (little Bella is like a clingy little “I want to be with you forever” retard) SETTING WRONG IDEALS ABOUT WOMEN AND FEMINISM (sure; why don’t all girls run away with a sparkly vampire, forget their life, education, family and just be his B**** for the rest of her life) DISTURBING SEXUAL FANTASIES OF A 35 YEAR-OLD CREEP (and god knows what else…..) Now that I’m done ranting, and your brain has turned to mush; you don’t have to worry about bothering to read that pile of garbage.
katedeannn 0
and to think.. we have 2 more twilight movies to go before this nightmare ends.. vampires need to go back to being what they were historically known as: blood-sucking, night terrorizing, demonic beings. not the sparkling, vegetarian, "i-can-walk-around-in-sunlight-without-disintegrating" crap they are now.
stoner907 0
I liked the werewolf better.
JediJoker 0
Best FML ever
LemonFairy 0
THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS... I could say "THIS" a hundred more times and it wouldn't matter. Honestly I couldn't give half a crap as to whether or not she wants her vampires to sparkle. Vampires are fictional and she is at liberty to be as creative as she wants with them. Be new and innovative - that's what the literary world needs. But her characters... *sigh*
LemonFairy 0
(Ignore this comment, things are going wonky for me.)
portablecupid 3
talking to twilight fans makes me want to rip out my second X chromosome.
sesquipedalian44 0
Wow, I'm actually a tad bit sad reading this FML.
Moeey 0
Well dur she's talking about twilight. Where else do you see gay pale vampires.
moorat10 0
today i realised that my sister is now crushing on a guy my age because of that damn movie FTW?!!