Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML
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Top comments
p00p0ster0us 0
If you're lucky, he'll stay right where he is. Away. Sorry that your dad is a prick. Unless of course he plans to call you later and say 'haha, I was joking sweety' We shall see, Mr. Prick. We shall see...
thatsucks42 4
Probably not, but your grammar does.
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Comments (76)
iBimmer 0
I'm so happy with life that i surround myself with various shiny things and I sing songs of hope and joy, all the while giving my self a little back rub from a sea lion. Come on Eileen! ;-)
Geist_fml 0
soccer is so much more wonderful.
fxdxhk90 0
Baseball/ softball is awsome. Soccer just sucks.
divineinstrument 2
Here's a challenge to everyone! Succeed in posting an FML on this site that doesn't result in trolls like this guy posting "YDI for (insert unimaginably stupid and irrelevant reason)". If you manage you can have my... soul I guess
ryguy997 0
no, hockey own all of the other sports!
WorldCupCheer 0
thank youuuuu 59 hockey is the shhittttttt (: all other sports aren't even comeparable they r all boringggg and I'm a cheerleader and I lov hockey
kirbz 0
do you suk that bad XD
thatsucks42 4
Probably not, but your grammar does.
shelbyj 6
I'm going to throw a dictionary at your face.
anri0404 11
3 u just got owned
lil_miz_liz09 0
Awww I'm sorry. Your dad's an asshole.
xcchick 0
that sucks! my first xc meet was on my b day too
JrWriter 2
I've had worse bdays. Plus YDI for playing baseball. :)
divineinstrument 2
Here's a challenge to everyone! Succeed in posting an FML on this site that doesn't result in trolls like this guy posting "YDI for (insert unimaginably stupid and irrelevant reason)". If you manage you can have my... soul I guess
intint50 0
baseball... softball. Difference.
skillz8 0
its all about the ball size 59
Carlie_McCartney 1
hahahah I thought that said 69. day ALMOST made lol
dogsteins 0
that really sucks. no one deserves that kind of treatment, especially from a parent. bad on you dad. and i'll say happy birthday to your son though I know it won't mean as much as if you said it. and son, here's some birthday advice: leave home as soon as you can responsibly do it and don't look back. some people should never have kids.
4everFastpitch5 2
She's a girl! Hello! Softball!!
dogsteins 0
some people should never have children. bad on you dad
FMLisright 0
this sounds like my dad about softball, but he's not as harsh. FYL
p00p0ster0us 0
If you're lucky, he'll stay right where he is. Away. Sorry that your dad is a prick. Unless of course he plans to call you later and say 'haha, I was joking sweety' We shall see, Mr. Prick. We shall see...
bishop186 0
That doesn't make him less of a prick, that just makes him a prick who thinks he has a sense of humor.
mzbosii 0
well that sucks