Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML
Today, my dog won’t eat the premium $30 per kilo food I buy him, but he will eat other dog’s shit. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
Today, my dog was trying to chew on his bone, but he kept losing it because he still has to wear the cone of shame. He eventually lost it completely. When I tried to help him by picking it up, he bit my arm. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Your dog is secretly a dentist and flosses 10 times a day
Capt_Obvious 11
When I was little I teethed on rawhides...that might work?
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Comments (75)
samfaithcross 9
They say a dogs mouth is cleaner than a humans!
lesley3r3 22
Try his ways Op maybe bones and shit will better your teeth too
YepThatsMeee 23
Bones are good for teeth. Heck, even shit is probably better for teeth than coke and candy and cigarettes.
Matt29_fml 10
I thought like damn..
mitsy1407 10
It's a proven fact that dogs have better oral health than humans.
aircanada707 3
It is clear that the only option is to start eating your own shit
momac86 17
That sucks but I wouldn't recommend using that same method
LadyAzureus 6
When dogs chew bones it essentially brushes their teeth. That's why your dog has better teeth. He brushes them more than you :P
joshi42 16
You had 11 years of example dental care in front of you and still haven't got a point? Your dog must feel desperate...
pussystank 18
Haha Methhead!