Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML
Today, my dog won’t eat the premium $30 per kilo food I buy him, but he will eat other dog’s shit. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
Today, my dog was trying to chew on his bone, but he kept losing it because he still has to wear the cone of shame. He eventually lost it completely. When I tried to help him by picking it up, he bit my arm. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Your dog is secretly a dentist and flosses 10 times a day
Capt_Obvious 11
When I was little I teethed on rawhides...that might work?
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Comments (75)
marulicko 19
... You gotta floss, OP. Like wtf O.o
Aero_x 21
OP said that his dog has bad dental hygiene, not himself. His teeth just aren't as pretty as his dog's.
Wingman527 22
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought canine saliva is actually cleaner than human saliva? And therefore, the dog's teeth might be "nicer" than OP's?
Mystery_Unsolved 16
I don't think flossing is the only thing going to give OP nice teeth, brushing them? With baking soda once a week possibly? Just a suggestion.
JBirdeye 14
Eat shit and chew bones problem solved
Capt_Obvious 11
When I was little I teethed on rawhides...that might work?
CallMeWindSock 24
Your dog is secretly a dentist and flosses 10 times a day
Animekid126 13
I don't really think dogs need to floss, there teeth are pretty spaced out compared to ares and brushing would probably do fine
KittyLahv 27
Dem grammar skillz doe. Seriously though, #34, your comment made me twitch.
Mystery_Unsolved 16
Good rationale.
zarosian 17
His joke went over your head didn't it?
NineInchSacks 11
Chewing is actually good for a dog's mouth and helps with their teeth. This could be partially the reason.
Rallred32 20
3, that's the only logical reason the dog has nice teeth.
Rallred32 20
I am ashamed of my terrible attempt at a joke. I would like to apologize to not just those who looked at my comment, but to the FML community. My joke was not only bad, it was atrocious. I'm terribly sorry about my actions.
Aero_x 21
Bad teeth can be from genetics. My mother's side of the family has soft enamal and bad sensitivity. My sister ended up with braces while I just barely needed them! You can get them fixed :)
torbey 23
braces only fix the structure of your teeth...they don't do anything for sensitivity or enamel. also, I'm curious as to how you just barely needed them? did you have them?
badluckalex 23
im guessing she means she only needed them for a very short amount of time
Pleonasm 36
Maybe it's a canine thing.
Roskosity 22
Nah. OP is British.
thatjonesboy223 8
It's proven dogs teeth are cleaner than humans
Earths_Venus 25
What's brown and sticky? Pretty much everything your dog eats.
Enslaved 38
Is the answer a "stick"?
matt729 7
Maybe you should start chewing bones? If you know what I mean...
Nish007 15
try oil pulling
HeartYou101 31
I'm gonna do that with coconut oil soon! It's meant to be great for your mouth and teeth!!
meatmaeta 21
What is this? explain please.
meatmaeta 21
Sinuses and sleep quality as well, I think.
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm a little concerned about your dog. I could be wrong, but I thought that dogs weren't supposed to eat crap, and that if they did, it sometimes meant they were sick? You may want to take your dog to the vet to make sure he's ok. Again, I could be wrong, it's just what I've heard and I know my dog doesn't eat crap. Other commenters may want to comment if this is true or not.
AshBash2211 14
A lot of dogs each their poop... It's one way they cover their scent
Gravenmuir 18
My dog eats her own poop all the time. Almost daily. It's disgusting, but it happens. Puppy problems. She's perfectly healthy, though.
Brandi_Faith 34
Good to know. I just heard it could be cause they were sick. Something about what they were missing in their diet or something. Obviously the wrong information though. Thanks for clearing that up.