Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
So frustratiiiiing
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Prize
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Quickie
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Great time to try for a kid
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML
Same
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Top comments
zedjaleaf1 11
So does that make him his own right hand man.
ragnarok1540 39
Pull out your vibrator and give his hand some real competition ... In all seriousness, talk to him and see if you can work on the relationship. See if he can start using all that hand action on you, and start some mutual fun time.
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Comments (70)
macsyourguy 5
just jump on it girl he'll be down 90% of the time
ltwlty 5
I mean, if you don't see each other often, that's not that unusual.