Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
So frustratiiiiing
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Prize
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Quickie
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
It's not a competition, but still…
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Great time to try for a kid
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML
Same
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Top comments
zedjaleaf1 11
So does that make him his own right hand man.
ragnarok1540 39
Pull out your vibrator and give his hand some real competition ... In all seriousness, talk to him and see if you can work on the relationship. See if he can start using all that hand action on you, and start some mutual fun time.
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Comments (70)
TheBiggerBoot 7
I think it's time you had a heart to heart with Palmela Handerson
orangejubejube 20
Depending on how happy each of you are with the relationship, this seems pretty normal. My partner and I have a happy relationship and are both more than satisfied with our sex life.. But we work crazy hours and sometimes one is too tired or the other leaves for work way earlier in the morning, it probably happens more often than not. But shouldn't be a big deal, who cares as long as you both are happy?
ahason1 15
I feel you, OP. I've noticed the same thing with my boyfriend
rangerPat 12
YDI OP. Stop whining and do something about it instead.
KIEdekka 14
you can probably fix that. Get him to stop yanking his knob, and enjoy you more.
Bluepies 24
...and what are you doing about that?
harperska 10
Communication is key. He might be writing the exact same FML, feeling like he has to take care of himself because he is under the impression that you don't want it.
igg125 30
Does he go to the shooting range?
Muerteds 18
Time to teach him what a Dutch Rudder is.
RandKP 21
Here's what I don't get. It's obvious to most that we can train our selves mentally (habits) and physically. In most of western culture it's recognized that sex is a combination of physical and psychological. So why doesn't it make sense that we can train ourselves sexually? It is obvious to me that your BF has trained himself to his hand. In the US (despite #28's protestation) the vast majority of men ********** to **** and/or memories of ****. This generally causes a variety of problems, including a quick finish in the sack. You can do better. TL:DR This is a problem. If he wont stop find a man that prefers ****** over his hand.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
There is not enough information here to make the assumption that the problem is entirely the boyfriend's fault. There is a shitload of reasons as to why this could be happening. For all we know, the boyfriend could be getting rejected when initiating sex or vice versa, they might live far apart, they might have busy lives and have trouble finding the time, either the boyfriend or OP might be trying to initiate sex with the wrong timing (eg, end of an exhausting work day or on a stressful day), the boyfriend may do it to unwind, it goes on. Nowhere in the post did OP state that the boyfriend told OP he prefers wanking over OP, the post implies that this is how it made OP feel upon learning this- there is no information to confirm that this is exactly what is going on. They need to talk about it- not train each other. Furthermore, it's incredibly apathetic to regard humans as nothing more than animals that require training- especially if it's a significant other. That's disgusting.
RandKP 21
You had several valid points, right up until the last two sentences. Ask ANY mental health professional or physical trainer, it is most definitely possible to train ones self, and others. It's just the way we humans are. By now you have probably trained yourself into several habits, good and bad. If you think it's disgusting for me to acknowledge this facet of human existence, that's your problem. As for the apathetic part. If you actually think that, you either don't know that the word means, or don't know how to use it in a way that makes any sense.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
I believe problems like these are more complex than simple misbehavior that needs nipping in the bud. Also we cannot change others- only ourselves. To me, attempts to "train" another person is willfully disrespectful and selfish- even if you're doing it for reasons that are, in your opinion, the best for that person or for their own good. To do this to another would show your apathy or indifference towards that person in the sense that you are disinterested in or lack sympathy for their right to just be as they are. And yes my disgust is my own problem and I'm not telling you that you are wrong or that you have to change your mind about it, I'm just saying it's wrong to me and I'm simply sharing ideas- just the same as OP's problem and intention through making this post in the first place.