Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have an incredibly high sex drive. My boyfriend doesn't. He made me throw away my, rarely used, sex toys because he's jealous of them. I wouldn't need them if we had sex more. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Is there something about the IVF that prevents you from being able to have sex, or was your relationship already doomed beforehand?
fjvitt 14
Maybe you might want to reconsider everything going on here...
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Comments (15)
deadunicorn 10
Just move on bro all that’s bad
ojoRojo 27
Ugh, IVF is the least romantic process, so hard to keep the flame going during all that. I hope you’re successful soon! (Both so you’ll have a baby and so he’ll stop whining)
RichardPencil 32
Why can't you give him a hand with that job? Your help could cum in handy.
RyanT0425 4
Ha
Kevin Kennedy 5
This is an example of why I got fixed (wife and I have no kids yet) with us planning on fostering/adopting
tounces7 28
Is there something about the IVF that prevents you from being able to have sex, or was your relationship already doomed beforehand?
faifai_fml 21
Well he couldn't be arsed to marry her, so I'd say the relationship is just doomed.
guiltyschuldig49 12
Ejaculation during IVF process is not recommended as it reduces your numbers when collecting the samples. Also the injections can cause enlarged ovaries in women making sex painful. So, you can but it’s not recommended for better success.
Susan Yee 9
Maybe beside she has fertility problem, he has low sperm counts, so he has to “reserve” his load for IVF.
bloopaloop 27
You know, you could start with getting married. Commitment means something and right now he doesn’t have it. Has no doctor talked to you about this? What about friends? Do they just say bs like “it’s okay!” And “you should do what feels best”? Not real friends.
wysegirl 24
New day and age. Plus it's only a 50/50 shot at staying together. If he's complaining now though the relationship may not last after a kid. Good luck OP. Hope for the best.
fjvitt 14
Maybe you might want to reconsider everything going on here...
Isaac Shields 9
all these people saying to leave him not realizing that for nine months he had been horny and yet stayed faithful so instead of automatically trash talking why not commend him for his loyalty
raven_of_azarath 35
If he’s complaining about having to jack off and they haven’t had sex in that long, I doubt he’s been the horny one.
Isaac Shields 9
yea jacking off does little to satisfy
s_ve 7
Really? Should we erect a statue in his honour or not cheating ? She’s going through a lot to be able to have a child and that’s what you have to say? She also went 9 months without sex or cheating soooo. Oh and yes you seem like the type or person that doesn’t realize women like sex.
Isaac Shields 9
quite the opposite people love sex it's not gender specific and you're quite presumptuous aren't you im just responding in reference to all the people negging the bf when he is obviously sticking by her because he loves her
bobsanction 18
You know, you could jack him off instead.
genuinegoodguy 9
All about you is it? Oh you’re such a martyr. Poor bloke