Tangled web

Today, I realized that I might be falling for a girl. She's fucking beautiful. She can't love me, I'm not good enough for her, and she's in love with someone else. Besides, I have a girlfriend but it never seems like we're close and I don't even know if I had a crush on her before, but I still love her as a friend and can't break her heart. FML

Take what you can get

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

Good boy, best boy

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

Timing is everything

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

Glad for you

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

Never enough

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML