Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML
Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
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Top comments
snowkittyyy 18
Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?
jake_braves 25
So petzoned is the new thing now huh..
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Comments (69)
snowkittyyy 18
Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?
Lars93 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
maybe its because he's cat-holic ( Catholic joke )
crudeandrudeguy 29
If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke
crudeandrudeguy 29
If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke
XxDanno316xX 27
We got it the first time mate. :)
zach205 24
I'm sure some people need a 2nd time before they get it
crudeandrudeguy 29
I only posted it once "mate". FML does that sometimes
_delusions_ 15
Guess its time to start acting like a dog. Juust kidding. That is odd and I dont see why being a human version of a cat is a bad thing but oh well.
Flowtastic 16
You've never had a cat shove their butthole in your face for affection I take it....
Dark_Cecilia 20
How does that even happen?
joeyl2008 29
Maybe they are Catkin
Imhere4fml 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well that's catastrophic.
Railroader 16
So she thinks you are pussy?
jake_braves 25
So petzoned is the new thing now huh..
jake_braves 25
Perhaps you are a lazy pussy that feels entitled to everything...nah.
Pingvinai 37
Should've left at your peak, man.
cacheson 42
Just explain you can be superheroes together. Cat woman and cat man.
FryingPanHero 11
You truly are the cat's meow!
ezrocks4u 29
...did she ever scratch you behind the ear? Do you enjoy long naps and tuna? :3