Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
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Top comments
thelinlinx3 10
Sometimes pussy is better than dick anyway ;P
yodas0da 12
dating a large number of people isn't necessarily something to be proud of. quality over quantity(:
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Comments (190)
IntoTheClouds 42
Me too. No shame. :)
Jjgibbs 5
Anything is greater than 0, so even having one cat would be more than the number of boyfriends. #ForeverAlone
MoneyStacks 4
That's your own fault! Get rid of the cats and start socializing!
haljane 0
Rebekah? Is that youuuuu?
gunmania0 12
So you've only ever had 1 inch of a girlfriend?
olgakl 8
73 don't worry, you have your whole life ahead of you :))
soccerluver315 14
She may have one or two cats, which is normal, and have only dated one person. She may not be a cat lady just yet..
wickedninja918 1
umm read her user name (upper right corner for the app)
chell1894 13
I'm a crazy cat lady and adore my cats. I'm also engaged. Loving cats doesn't mean you're lonely or will never find someone..
AFCA020 4
#1 so are you the fml-writer of a couple of months back or is op just forgetting she already posted this fml before or are there just so many crazy catladies ???
bigturd113 3
of course there is shame.... you all are.going to be lonly cat ladies whoms house smells like cat... the more you have the less your chances
crazycatlady5 6
Bitch stole my username
Dawminator 16
It's only bad depending on someone's age. If you're like 40 than that's really bad.
newburton13 26
Then get out of the animal shelter business.
florido_fml 10
Funny thumps up
NagainaFier 16
I give thumps up all the time
bakunin 4
You both are douches!
bakunin 4
74 and 2
MrPlopper 9
So are you 104:D
thelinlinx3 10
Sometimes pussy is better than dick anyway ;P
thepunman 11
No different than a lesbian
honeybadgerr 9
I bet that house is full of pussy hair though..
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And the type of pussy that doesn't like to get wet.
ittsdann 6
142 - anything else you'd like to ruin?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
TheIsland- either you're a moron, a virgin, or both. Which is it?
jelly713 19
OP, just take a chance & go out & to public events & talk to people.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Who says they've got a social problem. Maybe they've had 5 boyfriends and they have 6 cats. Then again maybe you're right:)
User57777 13
Or 1 cat & 0 boyfriends
wickedninja918 1
or mabie op's lesbian (no offence op just a thot
wickedninja918 1
*thought sorry there was a typo
legitkitty 11
Or maybe they have 200 cats... No? Okay.
AfroNinja6810 11
&&&&
desoto96 9
Man, I guess you can have too much pussy.
Futacy 30
Especially since OP is a woman.
thelinlinx3 10
5- your comment is ******* hilarious!
Futacy 30
64- There's a button for that :O
ntd309 14
Everything in moderation...
sens3sfailing 25
5, someone should make an equation for this, im sure someone clever could make an entertaining equation for that.
desoto96 9
64 thank you, I take pride in making fellow FML'rs laugh. 120 yes, It would be quite interesting to know just how much pussy is too much.
yodas0da 12
dating a large number of people isn't necessarily something to be proud of. quality over quantity(:
killaKT 2
I agree. The smartest comment yet
unknown_user5566 27
Oops, I didn't see your comment before I posted mine. I totally agree! I am proud to have dated a relatively small amount of people in my life, because the relationships were pretty good. I don't understand why some people like to rack up their number of relationships- I mean, what's the point?
obviousboy 8
I feel like a more pertinent ratio would be number of twilight books owned to number of boyfriends.
priceyfml 7
I agree, in school there is one girl I like... If she doesn't like me I'm not instantly going to go ask out another girl. I'd prefer to have a small amount of relationships.
TheDrifter 24
I prefer to do things in an unorthodox order. Start with a sexual encounter and if you can still look them in the eye in the morning, then consider a relationship. Relationships last longer that way, and all the awkward is it of the way early.
psuedodragon 23
#77 - That's how me and my hubby did it... of course, even married, with two cats I can say the same thing as OP
SortOfSexy 4
I'm jealous.
obviousboy 8
You better get out there and keep your eyes on the balls.
OhAidan 7
...Or try to act normal and not gaze at everybody's balls!
blcksocks 19
Glad you found out the reasoning behind that.
Lucious306 7
Be careful, you may be known as the cat lady
FML_Whale 18
There's nothing wrong with that!