Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have to pay through the nose to keep five ******* cool to keep one pussy warm, ya just shut up and do it. Or start learning yoga.
Smeelover27 15
I'd make a cat pun but I'm not feline it anymore.
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Comments (136)
wvcheesehead1 9
I would not spend that kind of money raising an animal I could not eat.
BrandiLush 31
Tell the cats to get a job! I tell mine all the time. They at least attempt to bring dinner consisting of mice, lizards and snakes though.
Ziggy122 15
Really? The quantity of cats in your home wasn't your first clue?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There's nothing wrong with having 5 cats as long as you're able to afford the vet care, upkeep, and food for them. 5 isn't even that many cats, honestly.
Old_Iron_Sides 6
You know cats lived in egypt in ancient times, right? They survived the heat without a/c then, they'll be fine now. In fact, it sounds like your wife is freezing them out.
Pensu 12
You do realize that the common domesticated cat has very little to do with the cats who lived in ancient Egypt, yes? It's like comparing wild arctic dogs to a pug. They're related, yes, but they are by no means built to withstand the same kinds of environments.
ClippersFan310 4
Can you say Divorce!
Attica 20
Yes, because the natural next step is of course to divorce over cats...
outoftown 27
I get the cats need AC in Australia's oppresive heat, but in how many rooms? Five cats can fit in one cool room; they don't need a whole house.
Satoaoi 13
your right she's a crazy cat lady
whoa_is_failz 6
5 cats wasn't enough of a hint?
JamesOnToast 5
Tell that bitch to open a window.
o_uhu_intrstng 4
sounds more like the tip of the iceberg my friend, good luck!