Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML
Today, I took in an old friend’s fat cat for a month until she finds a place to live. Turns out the cat isn’t fat, just pregnant. I found out when I found two of her dead kittens in my living room. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cieloalicia 16
After seeing four, you immediately think the fifth is a stray? What?
DDCA 24
You're a ******* idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
ColdplaySucks 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'll never understand the reason of keeping more than 3 cats...
JenkJenks 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'll never understand the point of having 1 cat
gracehi 33
I'll never understand quantum physics.
TheFirstSamurai 18
Before we start the cat/dog debate, I'd just like to say monkey trumps all.
vizombie 16
I'd rather have five cats than one child, I despise those smelly things.
Curtar2 18
weren't you a child at one point? are you saying you were smelly as a child? in that case you can stay out of the gene pool.
X_Codes 11
@44 - Everyone was smelly as a child. What's your excuse to be smelly, now?
Black_Cat_13 7
My first cat was a stray, moved into my parents barn. Before we managed to catch and spay her, she had 2 litters. Long story short, we had many cats for a while plus another stray that moved in. Due to my neighbors' dogs and the coyote problem, they became indoor/outdoor cats. Then when my parents moved, the cats we still had got to enjoy retirement as indoor only cats after 6 years of vermin control. I have SIX indoor cats and you are the reason I don't mind taking a week off of work to go to my parents house to cat sit. How could you not know or ask how many animals you were caring for?!
etoilenuit 15
#50 Cool story bro..
TheYoshiMan 12
I can see 1s point.. At this moment in time, I have 7 cats, 2 adults and 5 kittens, and it's a nightmare, they can be very destructive. I'm keeping one kitten, so I'll have 3 cats, and that will be my limit.
therealafroninga 10
82- I can see you're a real original guy.
RocketNinjaFish 12
I've got 5 cats and I love all of them :)
Bubbelz 25
50 - Who are you replying to? Or is he threadjacking?
tacojauns 45
That's a lot of pussy
CuhlorRed 7
Your picture goes with your comment, They both suck.
tacojauns 45
oh trust me the person sucks too
turtle_love94 8
I thought it was funny..lol
cieloalicia 16
After seeing four, you immediately think the fifth is a stray? What?
Purplefluff 6
And that it deserved a kick?
dotar_fml 23
I do believe that is a figure of speech, 73.
perdix 31
You converted it into a stray. When your friend comes back, the stray will come back home, except as a bad-ass with an attitude forged on the mean streets.
Enslaved 38
Yeah! I bet kitty will come back doing the Stray Cat Strut--"I wish I could be as carefree and wild but I got cat class and I got cat style".(:
perdix 31
#18, after cavorting with the feral street cats, he'll come back and infect the rest of the house with "Cat Scratch Fever."
Axipiter 24
It's probably got a pillowcase filled with bars of soap, waiting for OP to come back so it can beat the shit out of them with it.
therealafroninga 10
Cat: I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
Catkam623 27
* I didn't chose the thug life some asshat kicked me out and after several dogs made me their bitch I toughened up and now rep these streets
andyyroxx 20
That cat must be plotting to kill you in so many creative ways.
DDCA 24
You're a ******* idiot.
daniel_dd31 13
Exactly. How would the cat come in the house if the doors are always closed. Plus shouldn't your friend tell you this vital information?
EsotericBrent 29
Clearly cats can walk through walls.
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
Wasn't it obvious to you that she may have forgotten to mention a fifth or you misunderstood her after seeing another cat who looks tamed? Stray cats look very different physically and it's quiet obvious they have been on the streets. Either way you should have asked. To you it may just be a cat, but this cat means a lot more to her. I don't understand how heartless a person could be for kicking out a cat in the first place. Especially after making assumptions without calling first to avoid getting in that situation. Stupidity comes with a price. I hope you find the poor thing.
Black_Cat_13 7
Not necessarily. My cat, Hockey Puck, had been shot in the muzzle a long time ago, has hypothyroidism, is old and spent many years as a barn cat. As a result, he hates strangers, has half his teeth, is skinny and scarred and his pelt is a little ragged. He looks more stray than house cat but if anyone kicked him out of his home, I would maul them.
SeedlessMe 13
Hah! Same here, 52. Ours was named Fatty Lumpkins, he had no major injuries, but had a hard life before we found him. He was a big, old, fat bastard who would claw at people at random. But he'll always have a special place in my heart :]
Life_sucks_13 6
I agree with you fully. Stray or not why would you kick it out? My kitty used to be a stray. Now she's my kitty pet and is such a wonderful car. We have a few barn cats where I horse back ride, one actually looks like a house cat. I think it's because he's so fluffy and fuzzy.
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
My point is, there were 4 other cats. I'm sure it would be easy to recognize if it was OP's friends cat, they all get groomed the same way or don't get groomed at all.
Felling 14
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ?!?!!? How would a stray cat just happen to get in there, and even so that poor cat !! It got kicked out of its own home by a stranger.. I hope you /the owner finds him soon ):
anythingmustbe 18
I guess you are going to have to go out side and CATch it. Hopefully it did not stray away to far from home. You should have not made the cat vacate if you was not sure. Sofa now you are screwed until you find the cat.
anythingmustbe 18
Outside*
sugarshane007 20
What??? A stray cat just happens to be under the sofa? By chance? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Wait, nevermind, that's an insult to people that were dropped on their head as a baby.