Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML
Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML
Today, our cat is in heat. Her male counterpart is sitting outside my bedroom door, serenading her loudly, and has sprayed his piss all over the house, making sure she cannot escape him broadcasting his availability. FML
Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
Today, my cat woke me up a few minutes before my alarm, so I got up, had a pee, brushed my teeth, got dressed, went downstairs and fed her, started to make a coffee, and glanced at my phone clock. IT'S ONLY 01:30 IN THE FRICKING MORNING, MY ALARM DOESN’T GO OFF FOR ANOTHER 5 HOURS! DAMN CAT! FML
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Your air conditioner pulls air from inside your room, not the outside, so a smell in the outer shell of the AC shouldn't blow inside.
Inkoseh 33
Not only that, OP could just hose the exterior off. It's meant to be out in weather.
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Comments (7)
depressive_sod 11
What a CATastrophe... for real though, seems like a cat is a cat is a cat, aka a sodding gash...
bound101 7
I've not heard of the term sodding gash...what does it mean?
samomaha 17
Sodding is that act of an*l s*x, and gash is a rude slang term for a v*g*na.
tounces7 28
Your air conditioner pulls air from inside your room, not the outside, so a smell in the outer shell of the AC shouldn't blow inside.
Inkoseh 33
Not only that, OP could just hose the exterior off. It's meant to be out in weather.
SJKatt 15
Pour Nature's Miracle Urine Destroyer for Cats into your air conditioner. (Please don't actually do this lmao)
Malachi Malachi 4
get a new dog. and a new AC
Warp1978 15
Our neighbours have that problem, he had to build a cage around the ac unit to stop it in the end. It hasn't stopped the cat from pissing allover the cage though😄
xxlk4xx 6
I once had a random cat piss on the window of my then basement apartment, the windo was opened and I could never get rid of the smell, I love cats but they are also assholes
Vesi 30
Guarantee that was a stray/feral un-fixed male. They spray to mark territory and it's quite a bit stronger than normal urine. Unfortunately, ALL animals do this. not just cats. It's their biological programming.
great_nate 26
Water bottle.