Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have to pay through the nose to keep five ******* cool to keep one pussy warm, ya just shut up and do it. Or start learning yoga.
Smeelover27 15
I'd make a cat pun but I'm not feline it anymore.
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Comments (136)
jiraii 9
time to have a talk with her...
Wederoney 16
Really? The fact that you don't have one or two but five cats didn't give you a hint?
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
3 cats is the max amount people should have!
Mifflicious 18
And why on earth is that? I can't belive how narrow-minded and simply stupid half of the people here is!
EvilUndead 9
You can keep any number of cats, if they're all healthy, well-fed and your house is clean.
Mifflicious 18
I'm 86, not 89.
Talooka 10
Don't cats like the heat?
Ameel_fml 19
To an extent, yes. But it's Summer here in Australia, and has been around the 40 degrees Celsius (104 degrees Fahrenheit) range for weeks now, which is well above a comfortable temperature for most house pets. It's actually recommended that people keep their pets indoors (or at least have access to a sheltered area with lots of water) on extremely hot days.
AnyaS 19
I bet they can't stand you either.
EvilUndead 9
Perhaps your AC is broken? I mean, if there's some kind of mechanical problem, it might end up using more juice to keep room cool. Or maybe something else wastes electricity.
mycatsaysmeow 7
Cats do like warm spots but she is not doing them a disservice by leaving the AC on. Cats are very prone to heatstroke and can die from it rather quickly. Their body temperature is naturally higher than a human's. Change the AC a couple degrees warmer. I also shave my cat in the summer to help her stay cool.
FukeT_ 10
Animals are people too.
Tidus0 17
$850?! My average electricity bill is $1600
SerpentBoy 8
Do you live in a factory!?!
wvcheesehead1 9
Are you running a grow house?
cmb8280 24
Cats bodies process heat differently than ours do. She's actually not doing them any favors. FYL