Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have to pay through the nose to keep five ******* cool to keep one pussy warm, ya just shut up and do it. Or start learning yoga.
Smeelover27 15
I'd make a cat pun but I'm not feline it anymore.
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Comments (136)
alycion 39
I live in fl and my ac is on prettying year round. I'm also running pool equipment and being home all day, anything else could be on. My bill has never been that high. When it was higher then it should have been, I had my ac unit cleaned and the coils cleaned and my bill dropped quite a bit. I also added a uv unit for allergies.
vbmg152 19
Prettying? Lol! Darn autocorrect! I'm assuming that's what happened! :-)
alycion 39
Auto correct and pain killers. They just don't mix.
vbmg152 19
You said "our 5 cats". YDI! Pay the bill! I leave the heat/air on for my dogs but I don't complain about the bill.
picante72 24
I'd get a swamp cooler installed. Much cheaper and powerful than using the AC.
bridgetv25 8
850$ elect bill where do u live? We run an ac unit and a central unit and it's not 800$
jjacci 12
You live in Perth, you want them to die?
Zenocide 0
You should make your cats pay half that bill. They use it more.
KayleeT 9
Cats like it better warm anyway ..
cetlawizard 15
In the middle of winter? Like someone else said...cats don't like it cold, they want warmth about 95-98% of the time...time to find a way to unplug/disable the AC.
Ameel_fml 19
It's the middle of Summer where OP is.
upallnight11 19
How thoughtful of her!
WWstar 9
well, u can't let them die of heat