Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, I came home from work and turned on the computer. I logged onto Facebook and saw I had a bunch of notifications. Turns out, everyone on Facebook knew I was single before I did. FML
Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I think, therefore I am... alone.
MisterMichael 9
Well if you've never met some of the people you friended can you blame them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Too cool to be real.
Pleonasm 36
I think, therefore I am... alone.
RedPillSucks 33
Cogito ergo sum sola
perdix 31
#37, are you female? The masculine for "alone" is "solus."
perdix 31
You should have joined the side that said no, Sasquatch.
Revan501 15
Hey what about Nessie?
perdix 31
#78, he/she lost the coin flip. Honestly, I considered that alternative!
LovesSushi 25
Just because you are home schooled does not mean you can't leave your house. Maybe they have forgotten who you are.
LordoftheOcelots 10
It does for me, my parents think everywhere is a bad influence on me. It took me a while to convince them to send me to a public highschool
MisterMichael 9
Well if you've never met some of the people you friended can you blame them?
jellyghost 12
Good job on reaching out. "any publicity is good publicity"- P.T. Barnum
KareBear7364 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
see, on Facebook you can't friend people you don't know because that's creepy. perhaps you should start off on MySpace and gradually work your way up to Facebook.
andyyroxx 20
You can. It's just weird. But some people do it as a hobby - we've all gotten those odd requests from Asian fangirls.
Kazenoe 24
Asian fangirls? Wow. I must be using the wrong profile pic, all I get is "single" Indian men in their 40's...
californianking1 8
Haha that made me laugh!!!
simonepedretti 7
Who even uses MySpace anymore..
DocBastard 40
Facebook sucks and will eventually conquer us all. That is my final warn.!&$;@(^# [NO CARRIER]
nava1210 12
Overused reply to a.!&$;@(^# [NO CARRIER]
superpoptart 24
Well I thought it was .!&;@(^#[NO CARRIER]
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
Wow. Can't you guys tell this is just a j-@:$£|£+]% [NO CARRIER]
TrueTriage 16
Huh this looks like a shi$&:!?@& [CARRIER TRANSFERED] Hi, I'm here to tell you about horrible overused comments, please if you would, not for me, or for yourself, but for the whole of humanity not ever say what was nearly just posted. Thank you sincerely. -V
Kalipczo 21
Maybe you should have just friended the people you actually know-just a thought. I understand you may have been trying to form new relationships with people but maybe rather than friending random people, have a small get together and have your friends bring their friends.
eleemosynarian92 5
You never tell friends to bring friends. Haven't you seen high school movies? Three hundred people magically find your house, someone winds up hanging from the chandelier, and your parents always show up at the most inconvenient time with their hands on their hips.
Wolvander88 19
What is the purpose of existence? For all we know, we might just be in the matrix..
RedPillSucks 33
Facebook IS the matrix. First they experimented with online farming, next it's online SIMs, soon you wont be able to tell the difference between online and reality.
gc327072 31
We'll all be like the fat people on Wall-E.
Wolvander88 19
@38, Even I would be pissed if I could no longer be Sesshomaru after taking the red pill.