Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML
Today, I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. Did my dog need to go out? No. Did my alarm go off? No. My neighbor's asshole cat was on my window AC, scratching at my window, before pissing on the AC and jumping off. If I turn it on, my bedroom will reek of cat piss. The high today will be near 90. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have to pay through the nose to keep five ******* cool to keep one pussy warm, ya just shut up and do it. Or start learning yoga.
Smeelover27 15
I'd make a cat pun but I'm not feline it anymore.
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Comments (136)
Nessco 36
When I read this I was thinking how much worse it would be if you were in Western Australia, but hey, you're already there. Maybe move to another state were you don't get charged an arm and a leg for power usage. Or try some solar panels if you don't already have them.
xrudeboyrock 29
I don't think keeping your pets comfortable is an obsession.
noelasis94 18
I'm happy for the cats and you to you have a loving wife can't get any better that's what I say
EvilUndead 9
*If* it makes her happy and *if* you can handle bill, then why not?
bubble_burst 16
F I V E cats!!!! Do you get a fifth of the attention of what the cats get? Either get the hell out or send the cats away.
Mifflicious 18
I don't understand what's so strange about five cats. can you tell me EXACTLY what's so stange about it?
bubble_burst 16
It's not strange if you have more than 5 cats yourself. I can understand 1 or 2 cats as pets, but 5 is beyond excessive. If they are working they obviously do not have time to care for the cats anyway. If you can read between the lines here, the op is not too comfortable with this "obsession". If he has told this to his partner and still they have 5 cats, it's because either he's a wimp, or she's too bossy and doesn't care about him, he's an a$s and the wife has to make do with cats or divorce is too expensive. I haven't met a lot of guys who would actually stay with a woman who had 5 cats. If he's still with her and it's none of the reasons mentioned above, he then loves her and she doesn't care. That's why its DISGUSTING. Some people have to be spoon fed with reality.
xrudeboyrock 29
wow. no. just... no.
HumanWiki 8
how in the hell are you paying 850.00 for that? I've lived in hot places where the ac ran 24x7 and the highest I've seen was 400 range.
viper0hr 7
Bs. There is no way your bill would be that much.
whY402Jay 12
Time to give an ultimatum.
sirjuice35 11
that's insane lol
SuperDanielNL 23
Cats are originially from north africa, I am sure they can handle some heat.
Mifflicious 18
Seriously, do you really think you can compare and domesticated cat bred by humans with a wild cat in Africa? Maybe you think wolves and dogs are capable of the same things too?
SuperDanielNL 23
Cats survive a skin temperature of up to 44 degrees celsius, so yes. Cats don't need airconditioning. My plain european housecat is fine without airconditioning.
Mifflicious 18
You do realize that there are many kind of cat breeds, and that not all are the same, don't you? Like cat's with long fur, THICK fur, double coated, flat faces.. You can't compare a short-fur cat with a double-coated cat bred to survive in COLD. And also, cats are individuals. One is okay with heat, another isn't.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
102 is right I had a long hair cat that I had to shave in the summer or she would over heat. We didn't have AC and she almost died of heat stroke, so we started shaving her and since she loved baths we left the tub with a few inches if water in it. I swear she laid in the water most of the time.