Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML
Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
wordgirl 0
This is the second time in as many days that I've heard a story of someone drinking someone else's spit cup!! At least yours was tobacco...the other person's was green lung chunks and throat slime from having the flu. Would you people PLEASE start LOOKING before you drink???? I'm really going to throw up the next time I have to imagine something like this.
inSayne 7
that chewing tobacco is a f***ing disgusting habit?
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Comments (58)
laxgirl29 0
haha! i almost did that last night! i was so tired and thirsty i grabbed my boyfriends cup and he snagged it just in time! i feel for ya! hahaa great fml!
shellybean87 0
GRODY!!!
Hockeylover87_71 0
gaah, I just about "vomited" myself just now, dude, there is no word that can possibly describe how gross that is!!!!
dragonxalli 5
-hurls- ugh.... Thats absolutely disgusting... theres nothing that can describe how gross tobacco spit is.....
katewasherexx 0
Uhmmm. EW.! That's exponentially disgusting.
pawpaw_fml 0
Been there done that.....and vomit is not the correct definition for it. It is the most painful throw up you will ever experience and you WILL dry heave for at least a good 30 minutes after it happened..
angel55033 12
ewwwww chew is so nasty to begin with when someone left a spit cup behind when I worked at Perkins I was resetting the table just the smell was enuf to gag on but I dropped it on the floor it was one of the most disgusting things ever along with vomit or fecies
scottyrocks123 21
ewwwwwwww ewwwwwwww , Brian ewwwwwwww , oh my god ewwwwwwww
condog95 0
YDI
greyzero 0
I swallowed once, back when I first started chewing... I know your pain, friend...