Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
1. Sipping all day 2. it was perhaps in the car, as they drove from store to store. It's the only obvious answer as I don't think she'd carry it everywhere. 3. If it was sitting empty in the center console, she may have gotten back into the car and remembered she didn't throw it away. Also, people tend not to tell others when they've spit phlegm/gum into an empty can, they just assume its garbage/ask first. Hope that helps!
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's disgusting. Also, I have questions: 1) How on Earth did she manage to make the drink last all day? 2) Why did she not throw the can in the trash before/after turning it into loogie central? C) Why did she not warn you of the can's contents before giving you a chance to unleash the beast?
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Comments (10)
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's disgusting. Also, I have questions: 1) How on Earth did she manage to make the drink last all day? 2) Why did she not throw the can in the trash before/after turning it into loogie central? C) Why did she not warn you of the can's contents before giving you a chance to unleash the beast?
Inkoseh 33
1. Sipping all day 2. it was perhaps in the car, as they drove from store to store. It's the only obvious answer as I don't think she'd carry it everywhere. 3. If it was sitting empty in the center console, she may have gotten back into the car and remembered she didn't throw it away. Also, people tend not to tell others when they've spit phlegm/gum into an empty can, they just assume its garbage/ask first. Hope that helps!
Ilmoran 20
The way it sounds to me, OP only thought she was drinking it all day, but she was really using it to discreetly spit out phlegm the while day. And if she was trying to be discreet, that would probably be why she didn't warn OP about the contents.
SonofMnemosyne 20
YDI for stealing her drink
Inkoseh 33
You win phlegm, you lose phlegm.
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe you should ask the next time you want to take a sip of someone's drink. YDI.
Mungolikecandy 19
Why would you take a sip of something someone had been drinking all day? If not phlegm the backwash alone would make it 50% saliva.
Alaina Heuerman 21
Happy birthday. I guess.
WHSKitty4ever 23
At least you didn’t pick up a soda can for a drink and discover that your friend had emptied her cigarette butt in what she thought was her “ashcan.”
ChromoTec 24
Living the dream on your birthday, I see.