Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was skinny dipping with some cute girls from school, one of which I really like. Everything was great until I caught a fish on my own personal nightcrawler and they had to take me to the ER. I'll forever be known as "Salmon Dick". FML
Today, I was draining the water from my fishbowl out into the kitchen sink. The fish was still in it and decided to go with the flow, literally, right into the garburator. I was too scared to stick my hand down there to save it; instead I panicked and turned the garburator on. FML
Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML
Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
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Top comments
Finnboghi 0
I'm guessing you had soap or some kind of lotion on you? For anyone who reads this who is going to try to aforementioned treatment, make sure you're completely neutral.
Simgary56 0
Did you fart?
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Comments (70)
Finnboghi 0
I'm guessing you had soap or some kind of lotion on you? For anyone who reads this who is going to try to aforementioned treatment, make sure you're completely neutral.
FeelMuchBetter 0
OMG! Is that common? That would give the old ego a shot!
Jasper_fml 0
ew.
iloveyoulosers 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
First: Ew to that idea. Second: Hee hee. (:
quinn1184 25
dumb bitch.
Laughing_is_cool 4
woah i've never heard of fish bath things before
knitbitch 0
Oh I've read about those in the paper. Yeah that sucks for you and the fish. Maybe it was a lotion or something?
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
I actually think that idea is kind of cool because it's different. Huh... I probably wouldn't try it though. I get grossed out easily if I come into contact with something that feels weird.
smashyy 0
That's just gross
Simgary56 0
Did you fart?
xyadove 8
win!
Boomi 39
I don't think this person is Shrek.
sexorcist 0
god damn! the fishes wouldn't even die if i fed them my feet for an hour or so! a serious LOL
allylolll 0
fish..
lil_ham1644 29
Yes, in this case the plural is fish, because they are all of the same species. But just so people are aware, fishes is a word; it just refers to a group different species.