Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
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Top comments
MtnDew32 0
Great. You killed Theodore. And I was really looking forward to a third movie...
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it didn't start singing. That would have been awkward.
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Comments (112)
MtnDew32 0
Great. You killed Theodore. And I was really looking forward to a third movie...
GodsLittleMistak 8
Lol you sir,are a genius
lexi365 20
This comment just made my day. :)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
haha that was funny! hardy har har
liquidfireKAN 0
I don't understand how it is possible to ride over a chipmunk while on a bike, it sounds like you did it intentionally.
shannonreneee 11
Theodore was the cutest of them all
florenzfang 0
that's a win:) I think we just saw the trailer
blondebrunette11 4
aww :(
L_A_C_online 0
I just imagined that it happened like in a ep of Happy Tree Friends
softballgirl99 0
mtndew32 is now my favorite fml commenter! your comments make my day!
MyTwoCents_ 0
chipmunks are real??? wooow I'm Gona train my to sing :)
worldcupcheer17 0
the wording in this Fml just makes it so much funnier. :)
imnotcraZ 0
79 u r so right
hellbilly205 17
haha its the mtn dew that makes him a great commenter
alexg823 0
lol, like "mangled carcass" It makes me think of a mummy with a backwards head.
theodore214 0
my name is Theodore :D
XxSonyaBlade10xX 1
Haha!!!!!!!
holagurl15 11
Genius! aw I loved theodore!!
Velocity98 2
Wow man i cant breathe i was laughing so hard
teentee401 37
I'm commenting from the future where a fourth movie has been released. For the love of God...save yourselves and don't go and see it.
FMLollie 7
How could you not see it was there or if it sundenly jumped out you could of swerved out the way...
wikkedphuka 0
its simple he did it on purpose!!! didnt u got dammit oh gawd!!! *sobs dramaticlly* i dont understand how u ddnt see it?? lol u ride ur bike that fast? u go 70mp on ur bike? u ddnt see it lmao damn great job lance armstrong lol
Laurgasming 16
Am I the only one who didn't understand a word 70 said?
kamiicult 0
I didn't get it either.
madalynn 11
that's because it's a joke...
monzach 5
Here's my translation: It is obvious he did it on purpose, didn't you OP? *cries over-emotionally* I don't comprehend how you didn't see it! Haha, you ride your bike fast? You go 70mph I presume? You were not able to see it, haha, that was some fine biking person who is synonymous with Lance Armstrong. Haha, funny.
pinkalicious224 7
It's actually very possible. I once ran over a mouse with my bike. I was so upset and felt so guilty. Don't accuse OP of purposely ending the life of a creature. Accidents happen.
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it didn't start singing. That would have been awkward.
iLazy 0
Always look on the bright side of life~ *SQUISH*
Miss_Michaela 10
"I want to ride my bicyc---" *crunch*. ..It got what it wanted. :P
stephanie911_fml 0
Christmas, Christmas time is here, time for- *splaaaat!*
krazyvato 0
3 you are not smarter squirrel was dead and 2 squirrels not speak English jajaja but i heard lil Wayne has the only singing squirrel so chances are slim cus lil Wayne would be furius
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Stop the massacre! *bawls* we don't deserve this treatment!
kyanisaurus 0
what a joyride!
jonan1212 5
HIYA!
instnt1nfction 17
weeeeeeeeee *squish* meh weeeeeeeeee
IceeCreamm 7
It's okay, he was never a good singer anyway.
smurfsarwales 9
he was beast at singing :@
Ugi 27
I agree your life sucks today - but it will be better tomorrow. I'm just sorry we can't say the same for the chipmunk.
Bsane 0
agreed
cherrybitches 6
Rip chipmunk
Olovio 5
"When life sucks ****, make lemonade and drink it because it will taste good and quench your thirst." — Benjamin Franklin
MarioandSonic 8
"Abraham Lincoln didn't have internet in his day" - common sense.
lexi365 20
Neither did Benjamin Franklin.
iLazy 0
The sense of humour of man has been lost through the ages -Winston Churchill
DizzyDaydreams 1
"Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!!!!!!" -Alvin's family
OCDC 9
"An FML a day keeps the idiots away." -Joseph Stalin *Please note that this quote has little or no relevance to modern-day society. See previous comments for further explanation as to why there are still idiots on FML.
franticravyn 7
Wonder how you're going to get the carcass out of the spokes...
SGT_DBL 15
Poke it with a stick. If he is in a place with chipmunks running around theres gotta be some sticks too.
larisonr 4
Unless it was the elusive desert chipmunk.
sxe_beast 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would have just have ditched my bike in a dumpster and walked home/or got a ride. Bad for the environment I know, but OMG gross.
sxe_beast 11
^I bet my above comment will get many more thumbs down.
womanjesus 0
you DO know that your above comment provokes people to thumb down your original comment, right? or are you intellectually challenged?
sxe_beast 11
^This comment will get many more thumbs down!