Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
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Top comments
MtnDew32 0
Great. You killed Theodore. And I was really looking forward to a third movie...
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it didn't start singing. That would have been awkward.
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Comments (112)
ChelsBearr 0
How do you run over a chipmunk with a bike?!
Chadiscool4 0
This would be awesome! I hate chipmunks!
pandea 1
Your mean you realy can't do that on accedent
sodapopper 6
One...last...ride!!
torncord 0
most males who are homophobic are only that way about guys. while the idea of two men scares them the idea of two women may be okay, or even turn him on. "homophobic" is a word guys use to describe their insecurity about either their own sexuality or of being weak and less a man. this is not the case for all homophobes, but it is a possibility for him. so dont be afraid, if hes worth being with he'll be able to get over it.
ambersphere 0
That's what you get!
sblhaine 0
karma
crazyblackchick 0
I dont think dave would be too happy
YUNOBEFUNNAH_fml 0
im a chipmunk
Musician16 0
hilarious