Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML
Today, my husband accused me of having an incestuous relationship with my deceased father, all because we haven’t had sex in months due to my grieving. According to him, no one grieves that hard for someone unless they were in love or fucking them. FML
Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML
Today, my boyfriend is leaving me for his pregnant side chick, all because I “deprived” him of sex after suffering a miscarriage. To top it all off, the smug bastard actually told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll find happiness again someday, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Seriously dude? FML
Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating again. Not wanting to lose him, I suggested we try opening our relationship and being poly. He flew into a rage and swore I was just trying to think of an excuse to get back at him by screwing a bunch of randos. I can’t win. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It doesn’t sound like any of the nice ways to get butt sex seem to be working on you. Your boyfriend sounds like a real asshole.
smartjaguargurl 17
Pretend you think he wants you to peg him.
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Comments (25)
Stan_The_Man 7
Don’t knock it till you rock it
RichardPencil 32
It doesn’t sound like any of the nice ways to get butt sex seem to be working on you. Your boyfriend sounds like a real asshole.
bts_bp0exid 2
an asshole that wants an assholeㅋㅋㅋ
TCRII 30
Tell him you want to try pegging....
smartjaguargurl 17
Pretend you think he wants you to peg him.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dump him by dumping on him, and leaving him handcuffed to his bed. He's a disgusting wretch.
ck87 7
you sound ******* crazy
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'm not crazy. Don't call me crazy. I'm just not user-friendly. Or, I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. Take your pick.
mha8649 8
craaaaaaazy
DrSamba 7
Time to move on. Or just nickname him Cornholio. Or both.
PenguinPal3017 19
Devil's advocate here, but if I actually told someone that I wished a guy would get hit by a bus and a few days later the guy died I'd be pretty upset.
BeefyQueefy 14
So his gf owes him anal? Because he's a terrible person?
PenguinPal3017 19
I'm not talking about the anal part. She obviously didn't believe that he was upset, otherwise why give those details. I didn't say anything about anal.
xxWTFxx1981 23
that was shitty of him...lmbo... don't get big deal its sec he is your boyfriend if you would just give him ass access when he wanted wouldn't have to make up excuses...
404wan 19
If she doesnt want to take it up the arse and he tries things this desperate to convince her he's a shitbag who deserves no sex at all.
rotflqtms_ 21
so then you take it up the ass and tell me if you like it. If you're not willing to try it, why does she have to? He's getting vaginal sex, so he should be happy with that.
AmbrosiaFan 19
You called him out on it then, right? "Honey using your fake grief at a coworker you wished to get hit by a bus last week is a pitiful excuse to get you back door access, go away"
Isaac Shields 9
sounds like you need to start giving him back door access before he gets tired of begging you for it and starts looking elsewhere for it sounds more like an fml for your bf
BeefyQueefy 14
lolololol women don't owe men access to anything, you vile ******* pig
Isaac Shields 9
yea all women say that but when their bf holds out on sex they act like he's a criminal but you're right women dont owe men access just as same as men dont owe women anything but dont cry about it when your partner cheats with someone willing to do what you wont man or woman further more you should be willing to please your partner otherwise whats the point of a monogamous relationship
slym12312425 9
You sound like you're one article away from ending up like Harvey, Bill, and Jeffery. Have fun in prison and remember, don't drop the soap.
Isaac Shields 9
did i say anything about forcing or drugging anyone idiot? no i said it should be willingly given
rotflqtms_ 21
How about you take it up the ass and tell me how you like it. If you can't find a guy to do it, find a girl to use a ***** on you. If you don't want to receive anal, don't sit there requiring others to. Women don't owe you access to anything. With that type of mentality, you'll be forever single.
Isaac Shields 9
actually im married and that's why most people cheat because they aren't getting what they want at home so don't get mad at me for keeping it real