Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
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Top comments
MtnDew32 0
Great. You killed Theodore. And I was really looking forward to a third movie...
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it didn't start singing. That would have been awkward.
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Comments (112)
zniltiaC 19
-Insert unnecessary boner joke-
itsallgoodintheh 0
what's a boner
itsallgoodintheh 0
what's a boner
maskedman 9
there wouldn't have been anymore riding after that. I would have pulled over as soon as the blood of a fresh chipmunk carcass splattered onto my lips.
SGT_DBL 15
Lips? I'm curious why you suspect the blood would reach your lips before some part of your body that would be closer to the bike itself, such as legs or feet...
ryrywakaka 0
vag lips maybe
BDTM 0
#59 lol win
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
Ask him how the ride was ;)
TheMonica 0
Poor chipmunk. I'd venture to say it's life (or lack there of) is more ****** then yours.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
yeah... that's not gross... chipmunk murderer
pinkspaceboundro 0
REALLY? on a bike??? this just baffles me!
MizzErikaHart 8
did u hear any bones crack??
ydnar 5
That only happens with squirrels. haha
brmgirl123 0
ur disgusting
cherry72 13
FHL not FYL. Poor chipmunk :(
SGT_DBL 15
Well done. You have rid the world of another useless rodent! I hope the blood splatter was as impressive as the accomplishment itself.
aNdReWgOs 0
:'( I hit a rabbit with my car on Sunday.