Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I found the missing sock from my laundry inside the sleeve of a hoodie I’d already worn twice. I now know where my laundry goes to hide from me. FML
Today, my mom texted me, “Sweetie, I found something weird in your laundry basket.” My mind raced through every possible embarrassing scenario. I called her in panic, and she said, “Why are there 18 single socks?” I’ve never been so relieved to be messy. FML
Today, I took my laundry out of the washing machine and noticed one of my socks was missing. I checked the drum, the floor, and the laundry basket. I eventually found it inside the sleeve of the hoodie I'd been wearing while loading the machine. FML
Today, I put on a sock. Then another sock. When I got into public, I realized my two socks were slightly different shades of blue. FML
Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lorenzo1102 21
At least they weren't fresh. Count yourself lucky
kimeatszombies 22
Oh god oh man oh god oh man.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (175)
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Put a box of tissues in his room so he can stop running out of socks
alexanderavatar 24
thats custy give him condoms
Matheo_fml 21
Never understood the socks. Never. Why not use tissues?
MrConcise 35
Why not just finish normally and clean up after? Like geez, if you get a little on your bedspread or something, it'll get washed eventually. It's not a huge deal.
EvilTurtle 35
What if you use the same sock for every fap session
Crazyjohnb 23
#53 Disgusting or not alot of guys do it that way. ALOT
MrConcise 35
I find it a lot less disgusting than leaving crusty ass socks under the bed for ages. I bet most people who use their sock don't even wash their hands after like I do.
Badkarma4u 17
The sock when you are lubed does not feel like a hand. It sort of breaks up the ridges and valleys that are your fingers and gives the feeling of a smoother sheath. Aslo, a youg man can be some what....fountainous for lack of a better term. So if you are not careful where you are pointing it can shoot halfway across the room. The sock takes care of that no matter how much or how forceful.
enginsteve 17
#121. DAFUQ??!!
Badkarma4u 17
I was 13 once
laden_swallow09 35
We all were. Age has little to do with ejaculatory trajectory.
qjdb 8
#157, your screen name takes on a whole other meaning in this thread. Especially if you say it out loud.
kalbrek009 20
Lubing a sock? Is it also wrapped in a plastic bag to prevent the lube from just soaking through onto everything? Socks are not meant for fapping with...should only as a place to let loose when hitting the point of no return. Lmao
JebMcdeber 11
I've never understood the sock trope either. Especially the hiding and accumulation. That shit doesn't just disappear, and it ******* stinks. If I were to use something like that, you'd be damned sure I'd wash it immediately. Sperm rots if it doesn't dry out fast enough.
mustangbravo 27
Bummer, that had to suck. Get him a hamper then you can just dump the contents into the wash.
JebMcdeber 11
Lmao, so instead of fixing the situation you'd just find a way to clean your sons jism more efficiently?
MrThump 16
Line them up along his bed, he will soon get the message to tidy up afterwards when firing shots of the old hand canon!. Still can't believe he left that shit under his bed for his mum to find! Lol
MissRaindrop 20
Why are you still cleaning your son's room? Make him do his own laundry. If he runs out then it's his fault and he'll have to do it eventually. Or, if you absolutely feel the need to clean up after him, throw away anything you find like that then make him buy his own socks after.
Jowisee 29
If he's old enough to be crusting up his socks, he's old enough to tidy his own room!
DedeleMan 21
uh oh...
Vlen_fml 20
sounds about right.
K_kanaka 26
They grow up so fast....
fpants2010 18
As a mother of a 5 year old boy, I dread the day I will find stuff like this!