Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mkymkm 0
cocks are funny whatever age you are :)
pogostick_fml 2
I don't understand how your life is ****** by this.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
patticake1601 0
FML sux now that prepubescent pubeless barely legal kids have flooded this site.
epccsplayer 0
Those jokes will always be funny.
jadetothes 0
#58 - if you don't think its an fml move on this is a website - not a democracy, and its also a business. these people make money from this website and, like any other business, will be affected if their customers become dissilusioned with the product, hence the numerous 'not an fml' coments you have a choice: either get over the fml's that dissatisfy you and continue to enjoy the website or discontinue with fml altogether and find an alternative way to fill your time (read a book, watch a film, go for a walk, the possibilities are pretty much endless.) or, as a third option, you could rile the rest of the readers with your extremely long comments that basically tell someone how to do their job. if you are not happy with the website, find an alternative. if you decided the brand of crisps you like have changed - you'd undoubtedly find a new brand, this is the same principle!
jadetothes 0
i just thought wtf? how can you get a circle chip? then i realised thats what you colonials call crisps :)
HookEmTexas07 0
USA! USA!
drkwlf 0
Ouch, burn.
Achw3l 0
Meh, this is MLIA
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
We really haven't touched upon the REAL issue here - did the OP eat the penis chips? #58 - tl;dr
Batman4890 0
and u didnt put them again ur crotch? what kind of 33 y/o r u?
HaveNoShame 3
Eh, moderator, #58 here isn't speaking for me. Or even most people, based on the ever-increasing readership and diversity of comments. I read this site because I want to procrastinate doing something constructive, or because I'm stressed out and want to look something entertaining that doesn't require a lot of thinking. I agree, it's just amusing, not the darkest possible reminder of all that is bitterly ironic or devastating in life. Overall, moderating posts is a subjective decision, and people who hate the choices can moderate themselves and slog through a million crappy submissions, only posting the gems. The mild ones, like this one, make me chuckle at the post itself, and the superficial self-absorption of the poster who thought this was worth noting. The outraged comments to it make me chuckle at the number of people whose lives hinge on only the most horrific outcomes being published. It's all good.
GriefBacon 0
Everyone would laugh at that.