Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
mkymkm 0
cocks are funny whatever age you are :)
pogostick_fml 2
I don't understand how your life is ****** by this.
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Comments (82)
amthony08 0
I think no ones opinion matters except the person who posted the fml if you don't like it oh well build a bridge and get over yourself you either laughed or you didn't move to the next story and have fun.
GreenRupee 0
So? Get over the fact that you like jokes like that.
NorwegianGirl 0
This is MLIA!!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
First off, Alan, I appreciate (chuckles) the job you moderators (snickers) do on this site... (starts laughing uncontrollably) (after a few minutes) I'm sorry. I couldn't hold in my laughter. (takes a deep breath) In all seriousness, while I rarely find myself commenting on certain FMLs illustrating the lack of the "F" in "FML", I agree with you that these type of comments get a little retarde... I mean redundant to a degree. Sure, some of these FMLs are pretty lame and unoriginal, but you cannot expect to have gold every single time. Keep up the goo... um... steady work =)
Dr_Diaper 0
This is not an FML by any means. You are a ******* douche bag
drkwlf 0
Alan is being rather saucy today.
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for thinking about Clay Aiken's private parts and then laughing about it.
srhmldndo 0
Haha, Alan is the shit!!
truth215 0
nothing like good old immature fun
Jaxro 6
Id laugh too.