Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 124 Share Tweet Share
Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 010 You deserved it 1 062
Today, I underwent several cardiac tests involving heart monitoring nodes placed all over my chest. The lab techs didn't pre-shave the areas and yanked out big clumps of chest hair as they removed the 10 nodes. They laughed, and said it could take up to a year for the hair to grow back. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 129 You deserved it 4 431
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 151 You deserved it 52 303
Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML I agree, your life sucks 815 You deserved it 154
Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 439
Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 188