Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 124 Share Tweet Share
Today, I brought my nephew to hockey practice knowing he needed help tying his skates. Multiple times I tied the wrong knot and my mind blanked. I had to ask someone else to tie his skates for him. I’m 32. FML I agree, your life sucks 383 You deserved it 254
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 028 You deserved it 5 340
Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 080 You deserved it 664
Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me, "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML I agree, your life sucks 36 878 You deserved it 4 719
Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 96
Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML I agree, your life sucks 729 You deserved it 990